Several have asked what we've learned, so I'll post a few bullets.
- That marriages everywhere basically want the same things:
- shared understanding
- acceptance and affection
- effective ways to resolve conflict in a way that doesn't hurt each other
- The principles of Biblical marriage cross cultures and tradition
- equality, mutual submission, love, respect
- Strong emotions must be identified and expressed in a way that strengthens the bond
- Many couples are yearning to grow as a team of two, but don't know how
- Busyness with good things, even great things (serving others) can hurt a marriage
- Confiding honest thoughts, feelings and desires builds closeness
There's more, but that's it for today.
Back to the office yesterday, and jet-lag might be over. They say it's a day for every hour, so 9 days is up this Friday. And all other systems are beginning to work well!
blessings, Jeff and Jill
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Home, results and HOPE for the future
It's Thursday 614am. Jill and I are up and at'em after about 6 hours of sleep. We both had naps yesterday (hers longer than mine since she slept a bit on the plane but I didn't).
Just a bit about the long flight. 7980 miles in 15 hours, Bombay (Mumbai) to Newark. We set out at 130pm your time on Tuesday, and arrived in Newark about 5am on Wednesday. We were w/out beds for 37 hours before yesterday's nap time of 3 hours and last night's sleep. Jill watched two movies and I watched four, all of which I would recommend to fans of drama/action-adventure (Eagle Eye, Hannah, The Joneses, and Killers (Ashton Kutcher and Tom Selleck in a plot where Ashton leaves his clandestine life as a clandestine operative for love; very funny yet realistic for those who live sacrificial lives for our national security).
Anyway, it was great to be back home. If you've traveled off American soil you know the peaceful reassurance that you are back where you understand the language and culture and have fewer known folks that might be hostile to your values.
A full report will be produced for our friends here who supported this trip for us to share with yet other friends. The preliminary is that we visited 3 cities in 21 days, covered 20,000 miles (approx.) on six flights, and a daily minimum of 50 kilometers (30 miles) over rough roads and around cows to visit and share a simple and practical skills that can be used to heal, strengthen and protect marriage, family and all other relationship with 97 couples (there's some overlap between individual and group meetings). By all measures this was a very successful trip. In emotional language, it was "pure joy" for us to build relationship with like-minded friends, and now to have continuing opportunity to serve them.
We've received word that one group of couples will be meeting monthly to celebrate progress using what they learned, and to share struggles so that they can learn from and support each other! This is a wonderful step forward. And we've received some other emails about personal breakthroughs in marriages after years of struggling with a tough issue. Wonderful!
The great thing about most of these couples is that they have embraced the reality that what they have learned (and now practice) is not just for them, but also for others. Several times we asked two questions: 1. Have you begun to think of couples w/ whom you would like to share this? and, 2. Are you comfortable and confident that you could teach others some of these things? Many said yes to both questions, and that brings me to HOPE for the FUTURE!
GREAT RELATIONSHIPS
Those whose followed our journey since 2003 know that God put a monstrous vision in our hearts (and has progressively given us the experiences we need to develop our character and competencies to pursue it): THAT EVERY COUPLE WOULD HAVE THE INFORMATION AND SKILLS THEY NEED TO LIVE WITH ABUNDANT HOPE, PLEASURE AND PURPOSE FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD. Toward this end, we discerned that the creation of a not for profit organization would be necessary as an agency to raise and steward funding to provide training to every couple called to train their marriage to train other couples, GREAT RELATIONSHIPS, Inc.
Donations flowed into this beginning December 2009, and so we secured an attorney and accountant to take the necessary steps, BUT, the IRS protested, and protested. The last we knew, just prior to leaving for this trip was that the agent assigned to the review (who had rejected three times prior) had secured agreement from his supervisor to deny approval and would be sending a letter to confirm the denial. But...
After landing in Newark and clearing immigration/customs by 615am yesterday, I charged the blackberry from its 3 week rest ($1.99/minute for calls, and much more for data in India, so we didn't use it) to listen to voicemails. The third message was from our accountant and friend, Steve Stuckey, "Brother, I don't know if you will have voicemail while you are gone, but wanted to tell you I received a letter from ________ (agent at IRS) {internally I groaned, expecting confirmation of the denial}. Remember how he said he would be sending a letter to confirm the denial? Well, it's an approval letter! GREAT RELATIONSHIPS is now an official not for profit in the United States!"
My immediate response was a flood of tears...relief, happiness for Jill who has done so much detail work on this, and emerging excitement for the future. What a gift and blessing to receive this miracle! And the timing is incredible...on the heels of this trip to share with friends EXACTLY what Great Relationships, Inc. was founded to DO!
We couldn't be more excited for the future as it seems that a season of unscheduled sabbatical designed to teach us to depend on God and to rest in our identity in Him (rather than our roles and work in His Name) is behind us and that we are being released into pursuit of the fulfillment of the Vision He has seared into our hearts.
So, if this vision somehow grips you, and you want to be involved somehow, the answer is yes. It will require much prayer, financial support, passionate and talented directors to serve on the board, talented brothers to serve as advisers, trained couples willing to travel and to serve, more couples to begin the training process, etc. Make yourself known and/or point to friends who may have similar vision and passion for this work, because as the Favor on this continues, the mission will require an army marriages share with others what they themselves have received.
Since we have received wind beneath our wings per the miracle of favor on this trip, and the miraculous resurrection of Great Relationships, we are going to continue this blog to chronicle progress toward realization of the Vision: Every marriage living with abundant hope, pleasure (joy) and purpose for the Kingdom of God!
Much love and gratitude for your prayers, support and encouragement!
Jeff and Jill
Just a bit about the long flight. 7980 miles in 15 hours, Bombay (Mumbai) to Newark. We set out at 130pm your time on Tuesday, and arrived in Newark about 5am on Wednesday. We were w/out beds for 37 hours before yesterday's nap time of 3 hours and last night's sleep. Jill watched two movies and I watched four, all of which I would recommend to fans of drama/action-adventure (Eagle Eye, Hannah, The Joneses, and Killers (Ashton Kutcher and Tom Selleck in a plot where Ashton leaves his clandestine life as a clandestine operative for love; very funny yet realistic for those who live sacrificial lives for our national security).
Anyway, it was great to be back home. If you've traveled off American soil you know the peaceful reassurance that you are back where you understand the language and culture and have fewer known folks that might be hostile to your values.
A full report will be produced for our friends here who supported this trip for us to share with yet other friends. The preliminary is that we visited 3 cities in 21 days, covered 20,000 miles (approx.) on six flights, and a daily minimum of 50 kilometers (30 miles) over rough roads and around cows to visit and share a simple and practical skills that can be used to heal, strengthen and protect marriage, family and all other relationship with 97 couples (there's some overlap between individual and group meetings). By all measures this was a very successful trip. In emotional language, it was "pure joy" for us to build relationship with like-minded friends, and now to have continuing opportunity to serve them.
We've received word that one group of couples will be meeting monthly to celebrate progress using what they learned, and to share struggles so that they can learn from and support each other! This is a wonderful step forward. And we've received some other emails about personal breakthroughs in marriages after years of struggling with a tough issue. Wonderful!
The great thing about most of these couples is that they have embraced the reality that what they have learned (and now practice) is not just for them, but also for others. Several times we asked two questions: 1. Have you begun to think of couples w/ whom you would like to share this? and, 2. Are you comfortable and confident that you could teach others some of these things? Many said yes to both questions, and that brings me to HOPE for the FUTURE!
GREAT RELATIONSHIPS
Those whose followed our journey since 2003 know that God put a monstrous vision in our hearts (and has progressively given us the experiences we need to develop our character and competencies to pursue it): THAT EVERY COUPLE WOULD HAVE THE INFORMATION AND SKILLS THEY NEED TO LIVE WITH ABUNDANT HOPE, PLEASURE AND PURPOSE FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD. Toward this end, we discerned that the creation of a not for profit organization would be necessary as an agency to raise and steward funding to provide training to every couple called to train their marriage to train other couples, GREAT RELATIONSHIPS, Inc.
Donations flowed into this beginning December 2009, and so we secured an attorney and accountant to take the necessary steps, BUT, the IRS protested, and protested. The last we knew, just prior to leaving for this trip was that the agent assigned to the review (who had rejected three times prior) had secured agreement from his supervisor to deny approval and would be sending a letter to confirm the denial. But...
After landing in Newark and clearing immigration/customs by 615am yesterday, I charged the blackberry from its 3 week rest ($1.99/minute for calls, and much more for data in India, so we didn't use it) to listen to voicemails. The third message was from our accountant and friend, Steve Stuckey, "Brother, I don't know if you will have voicemail while you are gone, but wanted to tell you I received a letter from ________ (agent at IRS) {internally I groaned, expecting confirmation of the denial}. Remember how he said he would be sending a letter to confirm the denial? Well, it's an approval letter! GREAT RELATIONSHIPS is now an official not for profit in the United States!"
My immediate response was a flood of tears...relief, happiness for Jill who has done so much detail work on this, and emerging excitement for the future. What a gift and blessing to receive this miracle! And the timing is incredible...on the heels of this trip to share with friends EXACTLY what Great Relationships, Inc. was founded to DO!
We couldn't be more excited for the future as it seems that a season of unscheduled sabbatical designed to teach us to depend on God and to rest in our identity in Him (rather than our roles and work in His Name) is behind us and that we are being released into pursuit of the fulfillment of the Vision He has seared into our hearts.
So, if this vision somehow grips you, and you want to be involved somehow, the answer is yes. It will require much prayer, financial support, passionate and talented directors to serve on the board, talented brothers to serve as advisers, trained couples willing to travel and to serve, more couples to begin the training process, etc. Make yourself known and/or point to friends who may have similar vision and passion for this work, because as the Favor on this continues, the mission will require an army marriages share with others what they themselves have received.
Since we have received wind beneath our wings per the miracle of favor on this trip, and the miraculous resurrection of Great Relationships, we are going to continue this blog to chronicle progress toward realization of the Vision: Every marriage living with abundant hope, pleasure (joy) and purpose for the Kingdom of God!
Much love and gratitude for your prayers, support and encouragement!
Jeff and Jill
Monday, August 1, 2011
Another sad first, and a vote of confidence for cultural transferability
I forgot a heartbreaking first yesterday; a funeral procession...for a baby. I suppose it was the father carrying the little bundle, followed by 35-40 men all dressed in white, walking as a group down the side of the road, but our driver confirmed the worst. "The baby died." I'd hoped it was a christening, but no. And where were the women? The driver spoke broken english, but spoke clearly that women don't come for the burial. "The men take care of it." Can you imagine?
Tonight was the worst traffic jam we've ever witnessed. "Special market night" Goats, cows, bikes, people, dogs, water buffalo, motorbikes, and oh yeah, thousands of cars jammed the streets, all in each other's way. I decided it was a fine time to close my eyes. Surely someone would die, and I didn't want to see it. But, only a bumped mirror on our vehicle. The driver could have called my bluff, "You think you could drive in this?" "Oh yeah" I said. He gestured to the wheel. "I don't have a license for India" I said. But honestly, I would like to try.
One of our greatest joys came on this last day. We shared w/ a group of new friends about a process to heal, strengthen and protect relationships, and they excitedly proclaimed that it is simple, clear, powerful, and culturally transferable. That is a huge exciting relief! We so want to be practically helpful to them.
Tomorrow begins the long journey home. We'll arise about 1130pm your time on Monday, and if all goes well, we'll walk into our home in Ohio about noon on Wednesday. During that time we'll exercise, have breakfast, drive to airport in Indore, fly to Mumbai, wait 8 hours for flight to Newark, NJ (15 hour flight: approx. 2-3 movies, two meals, four naps, 8 visits to the restroom; sometimes for purpose, and sometimes to stretch, four albums on the ipod, one audiobook and multiple conversations with Jill), then wait 3 hours till flight to Dayton...we are looking forward to being HOME!
Maybe another entry in the morning, and maybe not. After being home I'll write personal email to all who signed up to follow this blog, plus other interested and supportive friends. If your group would like a presentation on our trip, we have great pics, and some great ideas for the future!
blessings, Jeff and Jill
Tonight was the worst traffic jam we've ever witnessed. "Special market night" Goats, cows, bikes, people, dogs, water buffalo, motorbikes, and oh yeah, thousands of cars jammed the streets, all in each other's way. I decided it was a fine time to close my eyes. Surely someone would die, and I didn't want to see it. But, only a bumped mirror on our vehicle. The driver could have called my bluff, "You think you could drive in this?" "Oh yeah" I said. He gestured to the wheel. "I don't have a license for India" I said. But honestly, I would like to try.
One of our greatest joys came on this last day. We shared w/ a group of new friends about a process to heal, strengthen and protect relationships, and they excitedly proclaimed that it is simple, clear, powerful, and culturally transferable. That is a huge exciting relief! We so want to be practically helpful to them.
Tomorrow begins the long journey home. We'll arise about 1130pm your time on Monday, and if all goes well, we'll walk into our home in Ohio about noon on Wednesday. During that time we'll exercise, have breakfast, drive to airport in Indore, fly to Mumbai, wait 8 hours for flight to Newark, NJ (15 hour flight: approx. 2-3 movies, two meals, four naps, 8 visits to the restroom; sometimes for purpose, and sometimes to stretch, four albums on the ipod, one audiobook and multiple conversations with Jill), then wait 3 hours till flight to Dayton...we are looking forward to being HOME!
Maybe another entry in the morning, and maybe not. After being home I'll write personal email to all who signed up to follow this blog, plus other interested and supportive friends. If your group would like a presentation on our trip, we have great pics, and some great ideas for the future!
blessings, Jeff and Jill
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