Several have asked what we've learned, so I'll post a few bullets.
- That marriages everywhere basically want the same things:
- shared understanding
- acceptance and affection
- effective ways to resolve conflict in a way that doesn't hurt each other
- The principles of Biblical marriage cross cultures and tradition
- equality, mutual submission, love, respect
- Strong emotions must be identified and expressed in a way that strengthens the bond
- Many couples are yearning to grow as a team of two, but don't know how
- Busyness with good things, even great things (serving others) can hurt a marriage
- Confiding honest thoughts, feelings and desires builds closeness
There's more, but that's it for today.
Back to the office yesterday, and jet-lag might be over. They say it's a day for every hour, so 9 days is up this Friday. And all other systems are beginning to work well!
blessings, Jeff and Jill
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Home, results and HOPE for the future
It's Thursday 614am. Jill and I are up and at'em after about 6 hours of sleep. We both had naps yesterday (hers longer than mine since she slept a bit on the plane but I didn't).
Just a bit about the long flight. 7980 miles in 15 hours, Bombay (Mumbai) to Newark. We set out at 130pm your time on Tuesday, and arrived in Newark about 5am on Wednesday. We were w/out beds for 37 hours before yesterday's nap time of 3 hours and last night's sleep. Jill watched two movies and I watched four, all of which I would recommend to fans of drama/action-adventure (Eagle Eye, Hannah, The Joneses, and Killers (Ashton Kutcher and Tom Selleck in a plot where Ashton leaves his clandestine life as a clandestine operative for love; very funny yet realistic for those who live sacrificial lives for our national security).
Anyway, it was great to be back home. If you've traveled off American soil you know the peaceful reassurance that you are back where you understand the language and culture and have fewer known folks that might be hostile to your values.
A full report will be produced for our friends here who supported this trip for us to share with yet other friends. The preliminary is that we visited 3 cities in 21 days, covered 20,000 miles (approx.) on six flights, and a daily minimum of 50 kilometers (30 miles) over rough roads and around cows to visit and share a simple and practical skills that can be used to heal, strengthen and protect marriage, family and all other relationship with 97 couples (there's some overlap between individual and group meetings). By all measures this was a very successful trip. In emotional language, it was "pure joy" for us to build relationship with like-minded friends, and now to have continuing opportunity to serve them.
We've received word that one group of couples will be meeting monthly to celebrate progress using what they learned, and to share struggles so that they can learn from and support each other! This is a wonderful step forward. And we've received some other emails about personal breakthroughs in marriages after years of struggling with a tough issue. Wonderful!
The great thing about most of these couples is that they have embraced the reality that what they have learned (and now practice) is not just for them, but also for others. Several times we asked two questions: 1. Have you begun to think of couples w/ whom you would like to share this? and, 2. Are you comfortable and confident that you could teach others some of these things? Many said yes to both questions, and that brings me to HOPE for the FUTURE!
GREAT RELATIONSHIPS
Those whose followed our journey since 2003 know that God put a monstrous vision in our hearts (and has progressively given us the experiences we need to develop our character and competencies to pursue it): THAT EVERY COUPLE WOULD HAVE THE INFORMATION AND SKILLS THEY NEED TO LIVE WITH ABUNDANT HOPE, PLEASURE AND PURPOSE FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD. Toward this end, we discerned that the creation of a not for profit organization would be necessary as an agency to raise and steward funding to provide training to every couple called to train their marriage to train other couples, GREAT RELATIONSHIPS, Inc.
Donations flowed into this beginning December 2009, and so we secured an attorney and accountant to take the necessary steps, BUT, the IRS protested, and protested. The last we knew, just prior to leaving for this trip was that the agent assigned to the review (who had rejected three times prior) had secured agreement from his supervisor to deny approval and would be sending a letter to confirm the denial. But...
After landing in Newark and clearing immigration/customs by 615am yesterday, I charged the blackberry from its 3 week rest ($1.99/minute for calls, and much more for data in India, so we didn't use it) to listen to voicemails. The third message was from our accountant and friend, Steve Stuckey, "Brother, I don't know if you will have voicemail while you are gone, but wanted to tell you I received a letter from ________ (agent at IRS) {internally I groaned, expecting confirmation of the denial}. Remember how he said he would be sending a letter to confirm the denial? Well, it's an approval letter! GREAT RELATIONSHIPS is now an official not for profit in the United States!"
My immediate response was a flood of tears...relief, happiness for Jill who has done so much detail work on this, and emerging excitement for the future. What a gift and blessing to receive this miracle! And the timing is incredible...on the heels of this trip to share with friends EXACTLY what Great Relationships, Inc. was founded to DO!
We couldn't be more excited for the future as it seems that a season of unscheduled sabbatical designed to teach us to depend on God and to rest in our identity in Him (rather than our roles and work in His Name) is behind us and that we are being released into pursuit of the fulfillment of the Vision He has seared into our hearts.
So, if this vision somehow grips you, and you want to be involved somehow, the answer is yes. It will require much prayer, financial support, passionate and talented directors to serve on the board, talented brothers to serve as advisers, trained couples willing to travel and to serve, more couples to begin the training process, etc. Make yourself known and/or point to friends who may have similar vision and passion for this work, because as the Favor on this continues, the mission will require an army marriages share with others what they themselves have received.
Since we have received wind beneath our wings per the miracle of favor on this trip, and the miraculous resurrection of Great Relationships, we are going to continue this blog to chronicle progress toward realization of the Vision: Every marriage living with abundant hope, pleasure (joy) and purpose for the Kingdom of God!
Much love and gratitude for your prayers, support and encouragement!
Jeff and Jill
Just a bit about the long flight. 7980 miles in 15 hours, Bombay (Mumbai) to Newark. We set out at 130pm your time on Tuesday, and arrived in Newark about 5am on Wednesday. We were w/out beds for 37 hours before yesterday's nap time of 3 hours and last night's sleep. Jill watched two movies and I watched four, all of which I would recommend to fans of drama/action-adventure (Eagle Eye, Hannah, The Joneses, and Killers (Ashton Kutcher and Tom Selleck in a plot where Ashton leaves his clandestine life as a clandestine operative for love; very funny yet realistic for those who live sacrificial lives for our national security).
Anyway, it was great to be back home. If you've traveled off American soil you know the peaceful reassurance that you are back where you understand the language and culture and have fewer known folks that might be hostile to your values.
A full report will be produced for our friends here who supported this trip for us to share with yet other friends. The preliminary is that we visited 3 cities in 21 days, covered 20,000 miles (approx.) on six flights, and a daily minimum of 50 kilometers (30 miles) over rough roads and around cows to visit and share a simple and practical skills that can be used to heal, strengthen and protect marriage, family and all other relationship with 97 couples (there's some overlap between individual and group meetings). By all measures this was a very successful trip. In emotional language, it was "pure joy" for us to build relationship with like-minded friends, and now to have continuing opportunity to serve them.
We've received word that one group of couples will be meeting monthly to celebrate progress using what they learned, and to share struggles so that they can learn from and support each other! This is a wonderful step forward. And we've received some other emails about personal breakthroughs in marriages after years of struggling with a tough issue. Wonderful!
The great thing about most of these couples is that they have embraced the reality that what they have learned (and now practice) is not just for them, but also for others. Several times we asked two questions: 1. Have you begun to think of couples w/ whom you would like to share this? and, 2. Are you comfortable and confident that you could teach others some of these things? Many said yes to both questions, and that brings me to HOPE for the FUTURE!
GREAT RELATIONSHIPS
Those whose followed our journey since 2003 know that God put a monstrous vision in our hearts (and has progressively given us the experiences we need to develop our character and competencies to pursue it): THAT EVERY COUPLE WOULD HAVE THE INFORMATION AND SKILLS THEY NEED TO LIVE WITH ABUNDANT HOPE, PLEASURE AND PURPOSE FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD. Toward this end, we discerned that the creation of a not for profit organization would be necessary as an agency to raise and steward funding to provide training to every couple called to train their marriage to train other couples, GREAT RELATIONSHIPS, Inc.
Donations flowed into this beginning December 2009, and so we secured an attorney and accountant to take the necessary steps, BUT, the IRS protested, and protested. The last we knew, just prior to leaving for this trip was that the agent assigned to the review (who had rejected three times prior) had secured agreement from his supervisor to deny approval and would be sending a letter to confirm the denial. But...
After landing in Newark and clearing immigration/customs by 615am yesterday, I charged the blackberry from its 3 week rest ($1.99/minute for calls, and much more for data in India, so we didn't use it) to listen to voicemails. The third message was from our accountant and friend, Steve Stuckey, "Brother, I don't know if you will have voicemail while you are gone, but wanted to tell you I received a letter from ________ (agent at IRS) {internally I groaned, expecting confirmation of the denial}. Remember how he said he would be sending a letter to confirm the denial? Well, it's an approval letter! GREAT RELATIONSHIPS is now an official not for profit in the United States!"
My immediate response was a flood of tears...relief, happiness for Jill who has done so much detail work on this, and emerging excitement for the future. What a gift and blessing to receive this miracle! And the timing is incredible...on the heels of this trip to share with friends EXACTLY what Great Relationships, Inc. was founded to DO!
We couldn't be more excited for the future as it seems that a season of unscheduled sabbatical designed to teach us to depend on God and to rest in our identity in Him (rather than our roles and work in His Name) is behind us and that we are being released into pursuit of the fulfillment of the Vision He has seared into our hearts.
So, if this vision somehow grips you, and you want to be involved somehow, the answer is yes. It will require much prayer, financial support, passionate and talented directors to serve on the board, talented brothers to serve as advisers, trained couples willing to travel and to serve, more couples to begin the training process, etc. Make yourself known and/or point to friends who may have similar vision and passion for this work, because as the Favor on this continues, the mission will require an army marriages share with others what they themselves have received.
Since we have received wind beneath our wings per the miracle of favor on this trip, and the miraculous resurrection of Great Relationships, we are going to continue this blog to chronicle progress toward realization of the Vision: Every marriage living with abundant hope, pleasure (joy) and purpose for the Kingdom of God!
Much love and gratitude for your prayers, support and encouragement!
Jeff and Jill
Monday, August 1, 2011
Another sad first, and a vote of confidence for cultural transferability
I forgot a heartbreaking first yesterday; a funeral procession...for a baby. I suppose it was the father carrying the little bundle, followed by 35-40 men all dressed in white, walking as a group down the side of the road, but our driver confirmed the worst. "The baby died." I'd hoped it was a christening, but no. And where were the women? The driver spoke broken english, but spoke clearly that women don't come for the burial. "The men take care of it." Can you imagine?
Tonight was the worst traffic jam we've ever witnessed. "Special market night" Goats, cows, bikes, people, dogs, water buffalo, motorbikes, and oh yeah, thousands of cars jammed the streets, all in each other's way. I decided it was a fine time to close my eyes. Surely someone would die, and I didn't want to see it. But, only a bumped mirror on our vehicle. The driver could have called my bluff, "You think you could drive in this?" "Oh yeah" I said. He gestured to the wheel. "I don't have a license for India" I said. But honestly, I would like to try.
One of our greatest joys came on this last day. We shared w/ a group of new friends about a process to heal, strengthen and protect relationships, and they excitedly proclaimed that it is simple, clear, powerful, and culturally transferable. That is a huge exciting relief! We so want to be practically helpful to them.
Tomorrow begins the long journey home. We'll arise about 1130pm your time on Monday, and if all goes well, we'll walk into our home in Ohio about noon on Wednesday. During that time we'll exercise, have breakfast, drive to airport in Indore, fly to Mumbai, wait 8 hours for flight to Newark, NJ (15 hour flight: approx. 2-3 movies, two meals, four naps, 8 visits to the restroom; sometimes for purpose, and sometimes to stretch, four albums on the ipod, one audiobook and multiple conversations with Jill), then wait 3 hours till flight to Dayton...we are looking forward to being HOME!
Maybe another entry in the morning, and maybe not. After being home I'll write personal email to all who signed up to follow this blog, plus other interested and supportive friends. If your group would like a presentation on our trip, we have great pics, and some great ideas for the future!
blessings, Jeff and Jill
Tonight was the worst traffic jam we've ever witnessed. "Special market night" Goats, cows, bikes, people, dogs, water buffalo, motorbikes, and oh yeah, thousands of cars jammed the streets, all in each other's way. I decided it was a fine time to close my eyes. Surely someone would die, and I didn't want to see it. But, only a bumped mirror on our vehicle. The driver could have called my bluff, "You think you could drive in this?" "Oh yeah" I said. He gestured to the wheel. "I don't have a license for India" I said. But honestly, I would like to try.
One of our greatest joys came on this last day. We shared w/ a group of new friends about a process to heal, strengthen and protect relationships, and they excitedly proclaimed that it is simple, clear, powerful, and culturally transferable. That is a huge exciting relief! We so want to be practically helpful to them.
Tomorrow begins the long journey home. We'll arise about 1130pm your time on Monday, and if all goes well, we'll walk into our home in Ohio about noon on Wednesday. During that time we'll exercise, have breakfast, drive to airport in Indore, fly to Mumbai, wait 8 hours for flight to Newark, NJ (15 hour flight: approx. 2-3 movies, two meals, four naps, 8 visits to the restroom; sometimes for purpose, and sometimes to stretch, four albums on the ipod, one audiobook and multiple conversations with Jill), then wait 3 hours till flight to Dayton...we are looking forward to being HOME!
Maybe another entry in the morning, and maybe not. After being home I'll write personal email to all who signed up to follow this blog, plus other interested and supportive friends. If your group would like a presentation on our trip, we have great pics, and some great ideas for the future!
blessings, Jeff and Jill
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Walking into National Geographic and Miscellaneous firsts
We were told that this would be an intense and singular life experience, but nothing and no one can prepare you. The best way I can describe is that a trip to India is like falling headfirst into a 3-D version of National Geographic magazine, complete with all five senses on overload. We ride for hours through slums, cities, countryside highways and cannot stop looking in wonder
We're down to the last 48 hours in country, and its bittersweet.
The bitter:
- Saying goodbye to very loving and kind brothers and sisters
- bringing an end to the long awaited and long planned for trip to India
- goodbye to authentic "spicy" Indian food
- losing the daily kaleidoscope of animals, humanity, colors
Sweet:
- losing the opportunity to eat rice and chicken and lentils in various forms several times/day
- the "comforts" of Western life
- driving our own car again
- driving on the RIGHT side of the road
- mining the experience for NEXT re: serving our friends in relationship development
FIRSTS today:
- An elephant in the median
- hordes of young Hindu men dressed in bright orange marching down the highway
- a baby being cradled by mother on the back of a motorcyle in a horrid traffic jam
- a woman w/ leprosy, bandaged hands and soiled clothing begging along the median (I'll never forget her face; about 25, someone's daughter...)
off to bed for much needed rest.
blessings, US
We're down to the last 48 hours in country, and its bittersweet.
The bitter:
- Saying goodbye to very loving and kind brothers and sisters
- bringing an end to the long awaited and long planned for trip to India
- goodbye to authentic "spicy" Indian food
- losing the daily kaleidoscope of animals, humanity, colors
Sweet:
- losing the opportunity to eat rice and chicken and lentils in various forms several times/day
- the "comforts" of Western life
- driving our own car again
- driving on the RIGHT side of the road
- mining the experience for NEXT re: serving our friends in relationship development
FIRSTS today:
- An elephant in the median
- hordes of young Hindu men dressed in bright orange marching down the highway
- a baby being cradled by mother on the back of a motorcyle in a horrid traffic jam
- a woman w/ leprosy, bandaged hands and soiled clothing begging along the median (I'll never forget her face; about 25, someone's daughter...)
off to bed for much needed rest.
blessings, US
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Tips for Traveling in India
We've learned a few things we're inclined to pass along.
- Fuel: Make sure the vehicle in which you are riding has enough
- Exercise: Be ready for impromptu opportunities to do things such as push an SUV through the worlds's worst traffic over monsoon soaked roadways and through ankle deep (or worse) potholes
- Do EVERYTHING without complaining. The natives do, why can't we?
- Be flexible. Consider that your daily schedule may change once, twice, three times or more.
- Maintain your temper about mosquitoes. I suppose they're as hungry as everyone else.
- Bring protein bars. Western man cannot live on rice, chippati (wheat tortilla), dahl (lentil soup), and chicken alone...even if it really is delectable every time.
- Trust that there is ample bottled water, and drink it like you are being paid to
- Don't offer your hand to women unless they offer theirs to you
- Eat only w/ your right hand (see Jill's American Flag Story)
- Be prepared to be treated like gods...that's they way the Indians are raised to treat guests. This means that the lady of the house won't eat until you've had your fill, and men and women everywhere will run to open doors, carry briefcases, etc.
- watch "City of Joy" if you plan to come during monsoons. I just got out of the shower after being drenched and mid-calf deep running to the car (Jill and Aila also). In truth, we would have been disappointed if we'd not been soaked at least once!
Today was another awesome gathering with friends anxious to hear what we've learned about forming and protecting pleasurable (joyful), healthy and lasting relationships in marriage, family and with colleagues. Loving listening is the big revelation that makes every smile and fills them with hope for more and better in each of their relationships.
Off for a dinner meeting w/ more friends! A few more days and we're home. Anxious for some Western food and to see family and friends!
Love, Us
- Fuel: Make sure the vehicle in which you are riding has enough
- Exercise: Be ready for impromptu opportunities to do things such as push an SUV through the worlds's worst traffic over monsoon soaked roadways and through ankle deep (or worse) potholes
- Do EVERYTHING without complaining. The natives do, why can't we?
- Be flexible. Consider that your daily schedule may change once, twice, three times or more.
- Maintain your temper about mosquitoes. I suppose they're as hungry as everyone else.
- Bring protein bars. Western man cannot live on rice, chippati (wheat tortilla), dahl (lentil soup), and chicken alone...even if it really is delectable every time.
- Trust that there is ample bottled water, and drink it like you are being paid to
- Don't offer your hand to women unless they offer theirs to you
- Eat only w/ your right hand (see Jill's American Flag Story)
- Be prepared to be treated like gods...that's they way the Indians are raised to treat guests. This means that the lady of the house won't eat until you've had your fill, and men and women everywhere will run to open doors, carry briefcases, etc.
- watch "City of Joy" if you plan to come during monsoons. I just got out of the shower after being drenched and mid-calf deep running to the car (Jill and Aila also). In truth, we would have been disappointed if we'd not been soaked at least once!
Today was another awesome gathering with friends anxious to hear what we've learned about forming and protecting pleasurable (joyful), healthy and lasting relationships in marriage, family and with colleagues. Loving listening is the big revelation that makes every smile and fills them with hope for more and better in each of their relationships.
Off for a dinner meeting w/ more friends! A few more days and we're home. Anxious for some Western food and to see family and friends!
Love, Us
Friday, July 29, 2011
Flying the American Flag
This one deserves a blog of its own!
May it be known that my Annie (Jill to the rest of you) is proud to be an American.
First, let me set it up...
Experienced travelers to India are sure to tell you that table manners mean to be appreciative of the food (duh), to take as many seconds and thirds as you can handle (the Indians are very proud of their food...to like it is to like them), to eat with your fingers (seriously? Yes, seriously), and to eat only with your right hand (now, that' not so obvious, and no one is very anxious to explain it). "Well" they say, "Its because you do other things w/ your left hand." Like what, the detail oriented person wants to know? "You'll figure it out", they reassure you. So, at least one curious question in on your mind as you touch down on S. Asian soil.
The answer begins to take form when you notice that bathrooms are absent toilet paper...
So, what do they use? You guessed it...the left hand. Now, to be fair to our advisers, they did suggest taking an ample supply of TP, but they didn't warn that it would come w/ stigma. The Indians think that the use of toilet paper is dirty, and that their procedure for the use of the bare hand and water is more sanitary....(I'm sorry, as I know that's way too much for some of you, but hang in there. I promise you'll laugh). So, the upshot is that we westerners HIDE the fact that we have TP w/ us, because THEY think it is DIRTY!
So, we sneak it around, hide it in suitcases, briefcases, and purses....and that's where the fun begins.
Yesterday, Jill and Aila (our traveling companion and invaluable guide) went shopping at one of Indore's biggest and busiest malls. All was well until they exited the front doors. Jill unzipped her purse to retrieve her sunglasses, but they weren't the only thing that wanted relief from the confines her purse. Yep, you guessed it, Old Glory (the completely white-striped version) came rolling out, down the steps to the amazement of all the onlookers, and the horror of my dainty and discreet wife. Secret revealed! Another DIRTY American in their midst.
Well, the milliseconds it took her to realize what happened and to retrieve the invaluable squares of soft cloth seemed like an eternity; her most famous moments on Indian soil emblazoned into the minds of the natives.
Big smiles everyone! Hope you enjoyed that tale about how some of the world cares for their tails.
Jeff
May it be known that my Annie (Jill to the rest of you) is proud to be an American.
First, let me set it up...
Experienced travelers to India are sure to tell you that table manners mean to be appreciative of the food (duh), to take as many seconds and thirds as you can handle (the Indians are very proud of their food...to like it is to like them), to eat with your fingers (seriously? Yes, seriously), and to eat only with your right hand (now, that' not so obvious, and no one is very anxious to explain it). "Well" they say, "Its because you do other things w/ your left hand." Like what, the detail oriented person wants to know? "You'll figure it out", they reassure you. So, at least one curious question in on your mind as you touch down on S. Asian soil.
The answer begins to take form when you notice that bathrooms are absent toilet paper...
So, what do they use? You guessed it...the left hand. Now, to be fair to our advisers, they did suggest taking an ample supply of TP, but they didn't warn that it would come w/ stigma. The Indians think that the use of toilet paper is dirty, and that their procedure for the use of the bare hand and water is more sanitary....(I'm sorry, as I know that's way too much for some of you, but hang in there. I promise you'll laugh). So, the upshot is that we westerners HIDE the fact that we have TP w/ us, because THEY think it is DIRTY!
So, we sneak it around, hide it in suitcases, briefcases, and purses....and that's where the fun begins.
Yesterday, Jill and Aila (our traveling companion and invaluable guide) went shopping at one of Indore's biggest and busiest malls. All was well until they exited the front doors. Jill unzipped her purse to retrieve her sunglasses, but they weren't the only thing that wanted relief from the confines her purse. Yep, you guessed it, Old Glory (the completely white-striped version) came rolling out, down the steps to the amazement of all the onlookers, and the horror of my dainty and discreet wife. Secret revealed! Another DIRTY American in their midst.
Well, the milliseconds it took her to realize what happened and to retrieve the invaluable squares of soft cloth seemed like an eternity; her most famous moments on Indian soil emblazoned into the minds of the natives.
Big smiles everyone! Hope you enjoyed that tale about how some of the world cares for their tails.
Jeff
Thursday, July 28, 2011
UNBELIEVABLE! And more amazing stories
If we've said it once, we've said or thought it a thousand times.
- cows roaming the streets
- traffic
- people, people, people
- traffic
- temples, colors, bells, horns
- goat herds being shepherded down busy streets by cowboys on motorbikes
- spicy, spicy food
- Muslims call to prayer, 5 times/day
- did I mention traffic?
- newborns being cradled by mother's precariously balanced on 95cc motorbikes w/ three other family members somehow saddled on the bike as well
- close calls w/ nary a scratch
The resilience and indomitable quality of the human spirit is incredible to watch. They walk for miles, work long hours, ride bikes in the midst of buses, motorbikes, rickshaws, and work so very hard.
Words don't suffice.
She was a weightlifter in the circus, but is no bigger than Jill. 200lbs over her head, and 400lbs hoisted with a bit in her mouth. Post injury, she was forced to work several more years by taskmaster (ringmaster) and parents who were being paid. One night after nearly bleeding out she turned the radio to distract her. Raised Hindu it was the first Christian message ever heard...and she responded.
He reached the pinnacle of financial success, but at 18 was alone on his birthday. Despondency took over and he tried to commit suicide for the next 36 hours. While bleeding out he decided to reach for a Bible, and read about good shepherds and bad shepherds. Who would be a good shepherd for me, he wondered. The revelation came that his name was Jesus. Miraculously he lived and now shepherds many.
We're simply overwhelmed, blessed, fatigued, homesick and at the same time can't imagine leaving such a mass of humanity we've been gifted to serve.
A healthy debriefing is in order.
blessings, Jeff and Jill
- cows roaming the streets
- traffic
- people, people, people
- traffic
- temples, colors, bells, horns
- goat herds being shepherded down busy streets by cowboys on motorbikes
- spicy, spicy food
- Muslims call to prayer, 5 times/day
- did I mention traffic?
- newborns being cradled by mother's precariously balanced on 95cc motorbikes w/ three other family members somehow saddled on the bike as well
- close calls w/ nary a scratch
The resilience and indomitable quality of the human spirit is incredible to watch. They walk for miles, work long hours, ride bikes in the midst of buses, motorbikes, rickshaws, and work so very hard.
Words don't suffice.
She was a weightlifter in the circus, but is no bigger than Jill. 200lbs over her head, and 400lbs hoisted with a bit in her mouth. Post injury, she was forced to work several more years by taskmaster (ringmaster) and parents who were being paid. One night after nearly bleeding out she turned the radio to distract her. Raised Hindu it was the first Christian message ever heard...and she responded.
He reached the pinnacle of financial success, but at 18 was alone on his birthday. Despondency took over and he tried to commit suicide for the next 36 hours. While bleeding out he decided to reach for a Bible, and read about good shepherds and bad shepherds. Who would be a good shepherd for me, he wondered. The revelation came that his name was Jesus. Miraculously he lived and now shepherds many.
We're simply overwhelmed, blessed, fatigued, homesick and at the same time can't imagine leaving such a mass of humanity we've been gifted to serve.
A healthy debriefing is in order.
blessings, Jeff and Jill
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Leprosy and Likenesses in Couples Everywhere?
I'm becoming convinced that couples everywhere struggle with the same challenges; enough high quality/high energy time for their marriage, desire for clearer communication to prevent and resolve misunderstandings, a need for knowledge about how to come back together after periods of silence that follow disagreements and disappointments, and a longing in both of them to be uniquely understood and to have more of their needs met in the marriage.
Today's first meeting with a couple was in their very tiny, somewhat hot and humid abode on a dirt road in the midst of a crowded neighborhood with very narrow streets. Many times the conversation was interrupted by incessant honking and the roar of trucks and buses with loud diesel engines...but their desires for a better relationship have been expressed by couples from a multitude of culture whom we've met in a variety of settings.
Our session was painstaking due to language challenges, but the results of coaching them through the development of a couple of goals and action-steps to accomplish those goals was the same as usual...GOOD! How do we know? They said they are very happy to have hope to make more quality time for their marriage, and when they do that they know how to open and hold each other's hearts. Neither are not mean feats in a culture where men work long and hard, thinking that this is the best they can do for their family, and where they aren't accustomed to listening or sharing intimate thoughts, feelings or desires. And it is no mean feat to persuade women to risk sharing these facets of their inner world, but easier than persuading and equipping men for such conversation. Dare we say that it is innate for a woman to long to be heard and her heart to be held? For her longings for emotional closeness to be elicited and fulfilled by her man?
The women get the concepts and skills we teach more quickly than the men. The smiles and relief we discern in their countenances says that this is exactly what they've been waiting for, and miracle of miracles, the husbands smile too and thank us in proportion to the smiles of their wives. And all of this in a culture that has historically elevated men and taught women to meet their man's every whim of desire without expression of their own. At least that's what we understand to date. Three weeks of cultural exposure and learning is probably analogous to a semester of college psychology. More than one undergrad has been ready to hang out their shingle after 13 weeks of study. In other words, don't take our understanding as the final word.
S___ is the son of parents who had leprosy. They are now deceased, but not due to this still prevalent and horrific disease in S. Asia. Colonies of the tragically infected adults and children live in colonies, ostracized by the majority of their society. S___ grew up in such situation, and soon developed passion to care for the adults medical needs and to provide the otherwise neglected needs of the leper's children (food, clothing, education...and a fair chance at life). He and his wife manage a home for 55 boys that will expand to 150 boys and girls later this year (we saw the construction next to the orphanage of yesterday). This couple again proves that deep and lasting joy comes from serving others, and that ministry about which we are passionate often emanates from our greatest pain and suffering.
This evening we met a gentleman who has served in Nepal and now Indore. He and wife are U.S. citizens. He took us to pizza hut by himself as his wife was exhausted by 10 hours of language study today and has a 1 month old child at home. It was nice to have pizza, though it didn't hold a torch to chicken tandori (sp?) which we had in the S's home.
Tomorrow and Friday are similar schedules, a bit moderate before three long full days of sharing with a large group of new friends. the request for sharing has expanded to family relationships, so we will be extrapolating from marriage principles and skills.
Time for more shut-eye....Oh, by the way, the temp is in 80's and humidity has increased, though the AC in the hotel is welcome, welcome, welcome....folks were enjoying the spectacle of my ability to perspire yesterday, and I was equally amazed that they weren't!
blessings, US
Today's first meeting with a couple was in their very tiny, somewhat hot and humid abode on a dirt road in the midst of a crowded neighborhood with very narrow streets. Many times the conversation was interrupted by incessant honking and the roar of trucks and buses with loud diesel engines...but their desires for a better relationship have been expressed by couples from a multitude of culture whom we've met in a variety of settings.
Our session was painstaking due to language challenges, but the results of coaching them through the development of a couple of goals and action-steps to accomplish those goals was the same as usual...GOOD! How do we know? They said they are very happy to have hope to make more quality time for their marriage, and when they do that they know how to open and hold each other's hearts. Neither are not mean feats in a culture where men work long and hard, thinking that this is the best they can do for their family, and where they aren't accustomed to listening or sharing intimate thoughts, feelings or desires. And it is no mean feat to persuade women to risk sharing these facets of their inner world, but easier than persuading and equipping men for such conversation. Dare we say that it is innate for a woman to long to be heard and her heart to be held? For her longings for emotional closeness to be elicited and fulfilled by her man?
The women get the concepts and skills we teach more quickly than the men. The smiles and relief we discern in their countenances says that this is exactly what they've been waiting for, and miracle of miracles, the husbands smile too and thank us in proportion to the smiles of their wives. And all of this in a culture that has historically elevated men and taught women to meet their man's every whim of desire without expression of their own. At least that's what we understand to date. Three weeks of cultural exposure and learning is probably analogous to a semester of college psychology. More than one undergrad has been ready to hang out their shingle after 13 weeks of study. In other words, don't take our understanding as the final word.
S___ is the son of parents who had leprosy. They are now deceased, but not due to this still prevalent and horrific disease in S. Asia. Colonies of the tragically infected adults and children live in colonies, ostracized by the majority of their society. S___ grew up in such situation, and soon developed passion to care for the adults medical needs and to provide the otherwise neglected needs of the leper's children (food, clothing, education...and a fair chance at life). He and his wife manage a home for 55 boys that will expand to 150 boys and girls later this year (we saw the construction next to the orphanage of yesterday). This couple again proves that deep and lasting joy comes from serving others, and that ministry about which we are passionate often emanates from our greatest pain and suffering.
This evening we met a gentleman who has served in Nepal and now Indore. He and wife are U.S. citizens. He took us to pizza hut by himself as his wife was exhausted by 10 hours of language study today and has a 1 month old child at home. It was nice to have pizza, though it didn't hold a torch to chicken tandori (sp?) which we had in the S's home.
Tomorrow and Friday are similar schedules, a bit moderate before three long full days of sharing with a large group of new friends. the request for sharing has expanded to family relationships, so we will be extrapolating from marriage principles and skills.
Time for more shut-eye....Oh, by the way, the temp is in 80's and humidity has increased, though the AC in the hotel is welcome, welcome, welcome....folks were enjoying the spectacle of my ability to perspire yesterday, and I was equally amazed that they weren't!
blessings, US
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Caring for Orphans
Tuesday began w/ a move to a new hotel. check out the Lemon Tree Hotel in Indore, India if you are curious. It is a welcome respite from noise, humidity, etc. Our host was compassionate. "It is very hard to be here, so we try to make our guests from the West a bit comfortable because they work so hard."
At 930am I spoke to a group of relief workers about loving listening as opposed to advice giving (this is a "telling" culture). More and more in their work they appreciate the importance of "seeking first to understand, before being understood" (as Stephen Covey puts it). "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger". Easier said than done in this culture with crowded conditions and perpetual horn-honking.
Then it was a tour of their offices. AWESOME relief work being done here by such good-hearted people. We connected laptop to wi-fi, then checked some of our writing for translation accuracy. Some friends want us to review some relationship principles w/ them next Saturday, Sunday and Monday (each is a full day one hour drive from our hotel). So, we are resting a bit while we can. Today is meetings 10am - 230p, 4-5, and 630-9p; a light day, relatively speaking.
But back to yesterday. In 2008 Christians were persecuted after being blamed by Maoists for the murder of a Hindu priest. (click here for more information) I and II Peter describe a similar circumstance. Anyway, many were killed, and many more maimed, tortured, raped and injured. Our host was moved by this and acted to care for some of the orphans and surviving adults who fled that region. From 4-8p yesterday we visited the orphanage that a man from Cyprus donated to build for them, and we talked w/ the children and those that work w/ them. What a beautiful refuge for these young wide-eyed, loving children. We saw 135 of them ranging in age from 4-14. Jill and our traveling companion/interpreter spent a long time in the girls dorm surrounded by admiring young ladies (men, even staff, aren't allowed in the girls private living quarters in order to help them feel safe. Many have been molested or prostituted into the "flesh trade").
We had many tears, many times. The children sang for us. I was moved by the love of the staff, and the reality that we were witnessing what James calls "pure religion", 'to care for widows and orphans in their distress.'
I fed four more mosquitoes yesterday, so being out means to be coated with repellant. Sweat from humidity mixes w/ it rather nicely to form a lather that is easy to redistribute all over one's body, so a shower at the end of the day is welcome!
I'm off for a bit of exercise and stretching, then to breakfast, an then the meetings mentioned above.
At 930am I spoke to a group of relief workers about loving listening as opposed to advice giving (this is a "telling" culture). More and more in their work they appreciate the importance of "seeking first to understand, before being understood" (as Stephen Covey puts it). "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger". Easier said than done in this culture with crowded conditions and perpetual horn-honking.
Then it was a tour of their offices. AWESOME relief work being done here by such good-hearted people. We connected laptop to wi-fi, then checked some of our writing for translation accuracy. Some friends want us to review some relationship principles w/ them next Saturday, Sunday and Monday (each is a full day one hour drive from our hotel). So, we are resting a bit while we can. Today is meetings 10am - 230p, 4-5, and 630-9p; a light day, relatively speaking.
But back to yesterday. In 2008 Christians were persecuted after being blamed by Maoists for the murder of a Hindu priest. (click here for more information) I and II Peter describe a similar circumstance. Anyway, many were killed, and many more maimed, tortured, raped and injured. Our host was moved by this and acted to care for some of the orphans and surviving adults who fled that region. From 4-8p yesterday we visited the orphanage that a man from Cyprus donated to build for them, and we talked w/ the children and those that work w/ them. What a beautiful refuge for these young wide-eyed, loving children. We saw 135 of them ranging in age from 4-14. Jill and our traveling companion/interpreter spent a long time in the girls dorm surrounded by admiring young ladies (men, even staff, aren't allowed in the girls private living quarters in order to help them feel safe. Many have been molested or prostituted into the "flesh trade").
We had many tears, many times. The children sang for us. I was moved by the love of the staff, and the reality that we were witnessing what James calls "pure religion", 'to care for widows and orphans in their distress.'
I fed four more mosquitoes yesterday, so being out means to be coated with repellant. Sweat from humidity mixes w/ it rather nicely to form a lather that is easy to redistribute all over one's body, so a shower at the end of the day is welcome!
I'm off for a bit of exercise and stretching, then to breakfast, an then the meetings mentioned above.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Mid trip meltdown, and in Indore now
Yesterday was the toughest day of the trip, and validated this as a true trip of service to our friends. Sleep was tough the night before, and a misunderstanding that resulting in mutually hurt feelings for our team of two provided opportunity for tears and to practice what we teach about holding each others hearts of honest feelings and desires.
We were sad to say goodbye our hosts and so many new friends in Pune, and somewhat anxious about visiting the more "traditional" city of Indore. So, goodbyes were sad, but all hope to meet again. We headed to airport (where we couldn't take photos because they share airstrip with military; an F-15 was landing as we walked across the tarmac to get aboard the prop plane), about 1pm. A relaxed time of waiting with some chicken and rice in air conditioned airport was comfortable, as well as the flight (very smooth for about 2 hours). I relaxed with headphones to hear a book and some encouraging music. Jill wrote a love note, and we renewed our energies for upcoming experiences.
The first hotel raised our eyebrows. AC on one high level w/ no knobs, no wireless, mosquitos, sheets we decided to cover w/ one of our own, loud honking from the street, and the coup de gras, "Jeffffff.....!!!" A lizard in the bathroom.
Over dinner our host offered to change to another hotel, which her originally attempted to book. Long story why not, but by midnight we'd arranged it for today. So sleep in the first hotel ensued and we survived. They say they that they book westerners in best hotels possible to keep us healthy and rested for the hard work.
the scheudle is busy with visit to orphanage of children whose parents were killed in persecution in 2008. we go there this afternoon. Multiple visits with couples interested in learning to train relationship skills, a visit to a leprosy home, etc.
Amazing how people are being served from here.
In the middle of a Hindi translation session of some things we've written to share w/ our friends.
We are both feeling well, and completely regrouped, strong and happy for the remainder of the journey.
Love, US
We were sad to say goodbye our hosts and so many new friends in Pune, and somewhat anxious about visiting the more "traditional" city of Indore. So, goodbyes were sad, but all hope to meet again. We headed to airport (where we couldn't take photos because they share airstrip with military; an F-15 was landing as we walked across the tarmac to get aboard the prop plane), about 1pm. A relaxed time of waiting with some chicken and rice in air conditioned airport was comfortable, as well as the flight (very smooth for about 2 hours). I relaxed with headphones to hear a book and some encouraging music. Jill wrote a love note, and we renewed our energies for upcoming experiences.
The first hotel raised our eyebrows. AC on one high level w/ no knobs, no wireless, mosquitos, sheets we decided to cover w/ one of our own, loud honking from the street, and the coup de gras, "Jeffffff.....!!!" A lizard in the bathroom.
Over dinner our host offered to change to another hotel, which her originally attempted to book. Long story why not, but by midnight we'd arranged it for today. So sleep in the first hotel ensued and we survived. They say they that they book westerners in best hotels possible to keep us healthy and rested for the hard work.
the scheudle is busy with visit to orphanage of children whose parents were killed in persecution in 2008. we go there this afternoon. Multiple visits with couples interested in learning to train relationship skills, a visit to a leprosy home, etc.
Amazing how people are being served from here.
In the middle of a Hindi translation session of some things we've written to share w/ our friends.
We are both feeling well, and completely regrouped, strong and happy for the remainder of the journey.
Love, US
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Life-Giving Conversations and Pleasant Surprises
Today began with coffee and more pleasant chatting with our witty and wonderful Australian friends, John and Hazel. Every retired couple should consider patterning their lives after this amazing team of two; encouraging servants who live to bless others, and have loads of fun while they're doing it. We say goodbye tomorrow morning, which is sad. We've found a home away from home.
9am began a blessed conversation with a dear siter who serves as a counselor. She opened her life and her heart to allow us to encourage her to persist in all the good she does for others.
At 11am, Jill was kidnapped by two of her new friends who insisted taking her for a massage and a facial. I went for a swim, and a conversation with a friend who took me to a bank to exchange some money.
1230 was lunch with yet another couple. The conversation turned to stewardship of life messages; the things we've been prepared through experience to share w/ others. They said it was timely. None of us knew how the conversation turned in that direction, but it was what it was supposed to be.
At 330p I finally confessed to Jill and our hosts that I needed help to resolve my intestinal difficulties. A quick call to a Dr. and an effective anti-biotic was prescribed. I say effective because I already feel much better. Why didn't I admit it? Because I usually think I can will my body to be better...and because I succumbed to the predicted difficulty and Jill hasn't. For that I'm glad, but being competitive, I'd want to act as if I could tough it out. Dumb!
4-7p was the pleasant surprise of an "Impromptu" meeting of seven couples who help other couples. At the end they gave us cards, money and sang for us. Yet another remarkable blessed experience.
From 7-10p we dined with our Korean friends, and discussed how to become a team of two by understanding and honoring our respective gifts. The husband asked to renew our leadership coaching agreement, an affirmation of the efficacy of this approach to leadership development, supported by his wife who says she is happy for him to have sessions because he is relaxed and happy afterwards.
Now, surprise of surprises, we're at the home of a couple that grew up in Michigan, and then discovered a desire to live amidst people of need. We met them in seminar this afternoon, where they heard our desire to call our girls and check email. They said they stay up late, and invited us to come over after dinner. It's now 1135pm, and we're all going strong!
Tomorrow we fly to Indore in the afternoon. The morning is to be relaxed, but we'll see.
thanks for reading. Jeff and Jill
9am began a blessed conversation with a dear siter who serves as a counselor. She opened her life and her heart to allow us to encourage her to persist in all the good she does for others.
At 11am, Jill was kidnapped by two of her new friends who insisted taking her for a massage and a facial. I went for a swim, and a conversation with a friend who took me to a bank to exchange some money.
1230 was lunch with yet another couple. The conversation turned to stewardship of life messages; the things we've been prepared through experience to share w/ others. They said it was timely. None of us knew how the conversation turned in that direction, but it was what it was supposed to be.
At 330p I finally confessed to Jill and our hosts that I needed help to resolve my intestinal difficulties. A quick call to a Dr. and an effective anti-biotic was prescribed. I say effective because I already feel much better. Why didn't I admit it? Because I usually think I can will my body to be better...and because I succumbed to the predicted difficulty and Jill hasn't. For that I'm glad, but being competitive, I'd want to act as if I could tough it out. Dumb!
4-7p was the pleasant surprise of an "Impromptu" meeting of seven couples who help other couples. At the end they gave us cards, money and sang for us. Yet another remarkable blessed experience.
From 7-10p we dined with our Korean friends, and discussed how to become a team of two by understanding and honoring our respective gifts. The husband asked to renew our leadership coaching agreement, an affirmation of the efficacy of this approach to leadership development, supported by his wife who says she is happy for him to have sessions because he is relaxed and happy afterwards.
Now, surprise of surprises, we're at the home of a couple that grew up in Michigan, and then discovered a desire to live amidst people of need. We met them in seminar this afternoon, where they heard our desire to call our girls and check email. They said they stay up late, and invited us to come over after dinner. It's now 1135pm, and we're all going strong!
Tomorrow we fly to Indore in the afternoon. The morning is to be relaxed, but we'll see.
thanks for reading. Jeff and Jill
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Consultations, Conundrums, Pizza and a Slum
Don't this of our trip as a vacation. It's a remarkable privilege and opportunity, but far from a day at the beach. We're working 12-15 hour days, meeting with various leaders and couples to listen and to share perspective and ideas as they request consultation assistance in their relationships and the 'work' challenges.
Saturday is past for us, and Sunday has begun. It is 825am, which means 11pm Saturday for ya'll.
Our Saturday was a swim for Jeff at 8am, breakfast at 9am at Peter's Pan, American omlettes, waffles, coffee and mango juice. Ahhh! We met a leadership couple for breakfast and remained w/ them at the Special Police compound until 1230. No, we weren't arrested. This force is full-time in readiness to put down riots, etc. It's park like except for the barracks, and they have a cricket stadium, soccer fields, etc to keep fit. They allow the public passage to a lake w/ paddle boats; a nice setting where we relaxed in a full morning of conversation. Pics forthcoming on f book when our connection improves.
Then it was time with dear sisters teaching us about culture as they prepare us for Indore on Monday through August 2. In depth conversation about complex personal circumstances they said was a blessing. We were there until 4p.
A twenty minute nap ensued, followed by a humbling, sickening, hopeful and joyful visit to a slum. The mother has HIV, but works full-time educating other infected persons about treatment options. Her 14 year old son knows her condition, but is filled with hope and joy by his faith. He wants to be a psychologist, and we discern that he will be a remarkable blessing to many in many places. He writes and reflects on life in a journal, but needs another notebook. We happen to have a spare, and we've also promised to seek a copy of an inspiring book by a friend of ours, Gary R. Collins that may help to prepare him for his future.
Flies, feces, dogs, goats and dirt was abundant in the slum. Our friends place was a simple one room flat, clean and dignified with encouraging excerpts of inspirational writings ont the walls. When did you last see naked and underfed children with smiles? If we saw one, we saw hundreds. It felt unfair to get in a car and to leave. They can't.
From the slum we were dropped at a flat where two couples awaited an evening. Beginning time was 7p. Dinner was served at 10. In between, and after, we fielded inquiries about good times and bad in our marriage, and the facets of heart, hope and skill that we shared with some of their friends earlier in the week. Dinner was bread, rice, chicken, mutton, dahl (lentils to put over rice; spicy of course), followed by mango ice cream. I regretted that it was so late that I couldn't eat more. It was the tastiest meal to date.
We were in bed by 1130pm, pretty fatigued, but a blessed night of solid sleep followed. Today we are off for breakfast w/ a local counselor, then some errands, including a possible $1 haircut, and some money exchange. Some ladies we met yesterday have insisted to take Jill for a facial, etc. to their spa. No, I'm not going. Probably use that time for a swim. Then lunch w/ a couple, late afternoon w/ a group of couples wanting a private teaching session, and evening w/ yet another couple. Please pray us strength!
Congratulations Cadel Evans in his Tour de France Victory!
blessings, US
Saturday is past for us, and Sunday has begun. It is 825am, which means 11pm Saturday for ya'll.
Our Saturday was a swim for Jeff at 8am, breakfast at 9am at Peter's Pan, American omlettes, waffles, coffee and mango juice. Ahhh! We met a leadership couple for breakfast and remained w/ them at the Special Police compound until 1230. No, we weren't arrested. This force is full-time in readiness to put down riots, etc. It's park like except for the barracks, and they have a cricket stadium, soccer fields, etc to keep fit. They allow the public passage to a lake w/ paddle boats; a nice setting where we relaxed in a full morning of conversation. Pics forthcoming on f book when our connection improves.
Then it was time with dear sisters teaching us about culture as they prepare us for Indore on Monday through August 2. In depth conversation about complex personal circumstances they said was a blessing. We were there until 4p.
A twenty minute nap ensued, followed by a humbling, sickening, hopeful and joyful visit to a slum. The mother has HIV, but works full-time educating other infected persons about treatment options. Her 14 year old son knows her condition, but is filled with hope and joy by his faith. He wants to be a psychologist, and we discern that he will be a remarkable blessing to many in many places. He writes and reflects on life in a journal, but needs another notebook. We happen to have a spare, and we've also promised to seek a copy of an inspiring book by a friend of ours, Gary R. Collins that may help to prepare him for his future.
Flies, feces, dogs, goats and dirt was abundant in the slum. Our friends place was a simple one room flat, clean and dignified with encouraging excerpts of inspirational writings ont the walls. When did you last see naked and underfed children with smiles? If we saw one, we saw hundreds. It felt unfair to get in a car and to leave. They can't.
From the slum we were dropped at a flat where two couples awaited an evening. Beginning time was 7p. Dinner was served at 10. In between, and after, we fielded inquiries about good times and bad in our marriage, and the facets of heart, hope and skill that we shared with some of their friends earlier in the week. Dinner was bread, rice, chicken, mutton, dahl (lentils to put over rice; spicy of course), followed by mango ice cream. I regretted that it was so late that I couldn't eat more. It was the tastiest meal to date.
We were in bed by 1130pm, pretty fatigued, but a blessed night of solid sleep followed. Today we are off for breakfast w/ a local counselor, then some errands, including a possible $1 haircut, and some money exchange. Some ladies we met yesterday have insisted to take Jill for a facial, etc. to their spa. No, I'm not going. Probably use that time for a swim. Then lunch w/ a couple, late afternoon w/ a group of couples wanting a private teaching session, and evening w/ yet another couple. Please pray us strength!
Congratulations Cadel Evans in his Tour de France Victory!
blessings, US
Friday, July 22, 2011
Cuckoo's Coel's and the Universal Language of Loving Listening
It's 710pm Friday evening our time. You are probably just getting started on the day. Our day has been full of ups and downs. Jeff had the first intestinal rumblings which seem settled for now.
Our first meeting was a bit of a crisis and quite tedious. Let's just say that counseling isn't abundant here, so our listening and recommendations were welcome.
At least I am still napping during the mid-afternoon. Natives say that this is not uncommon due to a combination of jet lag and the overwhelming nature of what we see and here.
This afternoon we met another new friend with a remarkable and humbling story. She has been called to love her husband reason, and in so doing is filled with unreasonable peace and joy. Talk about humbling. Due to work opportunities he has worked in a different country for 18 years. Can you imagine the challenges of such a long distance relationship?
The birds are remarkable. Today we heard and spotted a cuckoo, and still the coel's (spelling) awaken with the strangest screaming songs at about 4am. On good nights we sleep through. On bad ones we fantasize putting them over a fire on a spit for breakfast. You think roosters are bad!
The gathering of friends earlier in the week afforded opportunity to share the heart and skill of loving listening. It is the single most mentioned help to the folks with whom we have met since that gathering. This is a "telling" society, which means they are slow to listen, but quick to advise. Testimonies of relationship breakthroughs in marriage, with children, colleagues abound. Listening with heart and skill seems to be a universal language of love.
Off to dinner w/ our hosts, an older Australian couple surrendered to help as many as possible as well as they can, as long as they can. If you know an Aussie or two you can imagine our fun. They have quick minds, quick wits, and irrepressible optimism.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! We can't wait to share more, including many pictures. Internet connetion remains sketchy, so I can't upload much to fbook. Currently I'm on a balcony so that the mobile stick can retrieve satellite signals between concrete buildings.
Love, US
Our first meeting was a bit of a crisis and quite tedious. Let's just say that counseling isn't abundant here, so our listening and recommendations were welcome.
At least I am still napping during the mid-afternoon. Natives say that this is not uncommon due to a combination of jet lag and the overwhelming nature of what we see and here.
This afternoon we met another new friend with a remarkable and humbling story. She has been called to love her husband reason, and in so doing is filled with unreasonable peace and joy. Talk about humbling. Due to work opportunities he has worked in a different country for 18 years. Can you imagine the challenges of such a long distance relationship?
The birds are remarkable. Today we heard and spotted a cuckoo, and still the coel's (spelling) awaken with the strangest screaming songs at about 4am. On good nights we sleep through. On bad ones we fantasize putting them over a fire on a spit for breakfast. You think roosters are bad!
The gathering of friends earlier in the week afforded opportunity to share the heart and skill of loving listening. It is the single most mentioned help to the folks with whom we have met since that gathering. This is a "telling" society, which means they are slow to listen, but quick to advise. Testimonies of relationship breakthroughs in marriage, with children, colleagues abound. Listening with heart and skill seems to be a universal language of love.
Off to dinner w/ our hosts, an older Australian couple surrendered to help as many as possible as well as they can, as long as they can. If you know an Aussie or two you can imagine our fun. They have quick minds, quick wits, and irrepressible optimism.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! We can't wait to share more, including many pictures. Internet connetion remains sketchy, so I can't upload much to fbook. Currently I'm on a balcony so that the mobile stick can retrieve satellite signals between concrete buildings.
Love, US
Thursday, July 21, 2011
A Humbling Visit to An Orphanage
Anu was taken to an orphanage when she was 10 months old. When she was eight she had a vision to care for orphans herself. Today, she and her staff care for 20 girls, ages 5-18 who have been given by their poverty stricken parents because they couldn't care for them, or they've been rescued from the "flesh-trade" (prostitution). Last night we had dinner with the founder and her two natural born girls, and today we visited the orphanage where the girls sang for us and prayed for us...and we prayed for them. Two words describe the experience; moving and humbling.
The conditions are meager, but the girls and staff are filled with love and joy. Already, many of these girls have had visions to serve others as they are being served...WOW! Read more about all of this at this link By the way, Vanitashray means "girl's shelter".
This morning was breakfast with a couple from Chennai in Tamil Nadu (South Inida) again. We grow closer to this dear brother and sister the more time we spend w/ them. Our hearts beat for the same results in marriages, ans so we hope to continue relationship.
Breakfast was a cheese dosa with spicy dips and coffee and bottled water. Lunch was chicken soup, bread and an orange. Last night's dinner w/ Any included some chicken breast in spicy broth, rice and chapatti. I was happy enough to see the chicken that I nearly did somersaults!! More protein, please. My contingency is to take a rickshaw to the "expensive" restaurant for $6 worth of kabobs (chicken, fish and beef). "There comes the meat-eater" they might say.
Wednesday 9am-130pm was the final gathering of a group of couples w/ whom we've shared relationship skils. Sincere evaluations/feedback was over the top. All are very excited. We are relieved but not surprised that a process for communication and articulation of honest thoughts, feelings, desires, and setting clear and measurable goals for relationship translated across cultural lines.
This afternoon is a shopping trip to Jill while I hang out w/ the husband. and this evening is dinner w/ yet another couple. I can't tell you how many folks we've met. Each meeting is humbling and life-giving too.
The mosquitos have relented, thankfully. Benadryl helped me to sleep last night instead of scratching.
Thanks for reading!
Jeff and Jill
The conditions are meager, but the girls and staff are filled with love and joy. Already, many of these girls have had visions to serve others as they are being served...WOW! Read more about all of this at this link By the way, Vanitashray means "girl's shelter".
This morning was breakfast with a couple from Chennai in Tamil Nadu (South Inida) again. We grow closer to this dear brother and sister the more time we spend w/ them. Our hearts beat for the same results in marriages, ans so we hope to continue relationship.
Breakfast was a cheese dosa with spicy dips and coffee and bottled water. Lunch was chicken soup, bread and an orange. Last night's dinner w/ Any included some chicken breast in spicy broth, rice and chapatti. I was happy enough to see the chicken that I nearly did somersaults!! More protein, please. My contingency is to take a rickshaw to the "expensive" restaurant for $6 worth of kabobs (chicken, fish and beef). "There comes the meat-eater" they might say.
Wednesday 9am-130pm was the final gathering of a group of couples w/ whom we've shared relationship skils. Sincere evaluations/feedback was over the top. All are very excited. We are relieved but not surprised that a process for communication and articulation of honest thoughts, feelings, desires, and setting clear and measurable goals for relationship translated across cultural lines.
This afternoon is a shopping trip to Jill while I hang out w/ the husband. and this evening is dinner w/ yet another couple. I can't tell you how many folks we've met. Each meeting is humbling and life-giving too.
The mosquitos have relented, thankfully. Benadryl helped me to sleep last night instead of scratching.
Thanks for reading!
Jeff and Jill
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Rain, Rain Go Away
The daily downpours were a novelty at first, but now they're getting old. Hazel's recommendation for crocks and quick drying clothing was spot on.
The natives love monsoon because it is much more pleasant than the summer months of 100-120 degree temperatures. Sorry we missed that...NOT!
By the way, did you realize that crocks are slip proof on wet granite stairways? Did I ever take a spill? Glad that I've had experience hitting the deck in football and cycling. The bad news is that much like a drowning victim, I reached for anything available to stay upright. The good news is that Jill was out of reach (just barely), or her less sturdy frame might have been broken on the granite.
Another close call avoided...please keep praying.
We lunched with Stealla, a cousnelor in the area. Fascinating story and potential to serve and encourage her. More on that later.
Afternoon tea became coffee at a shop round the corner from our host flat. Superb coffee enjoyed with a passionate and highly talented social worker. We gave the gift of listening which us people helpers are wont to receive nearly enough.
Do you detect a hint of the King's English or accent in my writing? It's hard to avoid, being around our Aussie hosts, and British influenced Indians.
The evening was spent with a couple passionate about helping other couples, especially those in leadership positions in their state of 70 million. It's remarkable what they've already done, and we're humbled that they are already integrating what we have shared w/ them into their curriculum.
The mosquitos are out en masse at night too. They're sneaky little things that have learned the art of a stealth attack on fair skinned visitors. Obviously they've not been coached by the visitors bureau, otherwise they would moderate their appetites a bit.
Have you seen "City of Joy"? We're thankful we watched, else we would be a bit overcome by the standing puddles (mosquito farms) in the streets.
Do I sound like I'm complaining? I don't mean to. The relational experiencdes far exceed the bother of the environs.
Off for another bit of shut-eye.
Have a blessed day!
US
The natives love monsoon because it is much more pleasant than the summer months of 100-120 degree temperatures. Sorry we missed that...NOT!
By the way, did you realize that crocks are slip proof on wet granite stairways? Did I ever take a spill? Glad that I've had experience hitting the deck in football and cycling. The bad news is that much like a drowning victim, I reached for anything available to stay upright. The good news is that Jill was out of reach (just barely), or her less sturdy frame might have been broken on the granite.
Another close call avoided...please keep praying.
We lunched with Stealla, a cousnelor in the area. Fascinating story and potential to serve and encourage her. More on that later.
Afternoon tea became coffee at a shop round the corner from our host flat. Superb coffee enjoyed with a passionate and highly talented social worker. We gave the gift of listening which us people helpers are wont to receive nearly enough.
Do you detect a hint of the King's English or accent in my writing? It's hard to avoid, being around our Aussie hosts, and British influenced Indians.
The evening was spent with a couple passionate about helping other couples, especially those in leadership positions in their state of 70 million. It's remarkable what they've already done, and we're humbled that they are already integrating what we have shared w/ them into their curriculum.
The mosquitos are out en masse at night too. They're sneaky little things that have learned the art of a stealth attack on fair skinned visitors. Obviously they've not been coached by the visitors bureau, otherwise they would moderate their appetites a bit.
Have you seen "City of Joy"? We're thankful we watched, else we would be a bit overcome by the standing puddles (mosquito farms) in the streets.
Do I sound like I'm complaining? I don't mean to. The relational experiencdes far exceed the bother of the environs.
Off for another bit of shut-eye.
Have a blessed day!
US
Riding in a wreckshaw and great times of sharing
We just got back from lunch, through the monsoon, in a motorized "wreckshaw"...er, I mean rickshaw, :) I actually said "wreckshaw" upon arriving at our host home when they asked how we got back. A pretty good Freudian slip, eh? Really, it was a lot of fun. Jill and I grinned and giggled as out driver showed off his prowess by narrowly avoiding two near head on's w/ a truck, and a broadside collision.
A friend's advice prior to the trip is helpful, "I figue these guys want to live as much as I do, so I try to relax." Our Australian host said it like this about driving, "What used to be close calls aren't close calls anymore." What an unbelievable high speed choreography!
Our time of sharing with couples that want to help other couples went very well this morning. A very engaging group, hungry to grow their own relationships and to be helpful to others. After ample feedback, we are reassured that what we've been given to share is actually helpful.
I'm taking some hits for the team by feeding mosquitos. They are sucking me dry (ankles, elbows, knuckle, etc.). I've been too stubborn to apply repellant until today after one attendee tired of watching me scratch and gave me his supply. Oh well, they aren't bothering Jill.
I was the only one to exercise the society (apartment building) pool this morning. Locals looked at me like I'm crazy. Later I learned that they believe that swimming during monsoon is likely to make me sick unto death. Nope, don't think so. The water is warm, and the exercise badly needed.
Off to take a rest, as our friends say, then up for tea with another new friend. Such lovely people living lives of sacrifice for a purpose higher than themselves.
love and blessings, Jeff and Jill
A friend's advice prior to the trip is helpful, "I figue these guys want to live as much as I do, so I try to relax." Our Australian host said it like this about driving, "What used to be close calls aren't close calls anymore." What an unbelievable high speed choreography!
Our time of sharing with couples that want to help other couples went very well this morning. A very engaging group, hungry to grow their own relationships and to be helpful to others. After ample feedback, we are reassured that what we've been given to share is actually helpful.
I'm taking some hits for the team by feeding mosquitos. They are sucking me dry (ankles, elbows, knuckle, etc.). I've been too stubborn to apply repellant until today after one attendee tired of watching me scratch and gave me his supply. Oh well, they aren't bothering Jill.
I was the only one to exercise the society (apartment building) pool this morning. Locals looked at me like I'm crazy. Later I learned that they believe that swimming during monsoon is likely to make me sick unto death. Nope, don't think so. The water is warm, and the exercise badly needed.
Off to take a rest, as our friends say, then up for tea with another new friend. Such lovely people living lives of sacrifice for a purpose higher than themselves.
love and blessings, Jeff and Jill
Monday, July 18, 2011
Moving Day
Gathering w/ a group of friends went very well this morning. Laughter, good questions, and very engaged couples.
the need is great, and the workers are few.
Internet may be sketchy from here on in. We'll post as able. I plan to continue writing daily and will post the backlog when connected again.
blessings, US
the need is great, and the workers are few.
Internet may be sketchy from here on in. We'll post as able. I plan to continue writing daily and will post the backlog when connected again.
blessings, US
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Deeper and Deeper into the heart of India
Today we visited a Muslim slum to have lunch with a couple. It was eery to be stared at by women through slits in their face coverings and men who look like the ones we seen on movies about terrorists. Later we learned that a terrorist mastermind lived in the same building as the couple we visited. (He's been arrested).
The most riveting sight was goats eating fresh garbage. Why? They roam freely, eating the garbage in an area that is filthy already. It was just such a contrast to the goats our kids raised for the Clark County fair that were penned, groomed and vaccinated.
Last night brought two new experiences. Our friends fellowship with a multi-cultural and multi-faith group on a regular basis. Such gatherings are common, and seem to meet a hungry need for opportunity to share life and to discover answers to its most basic problems. We were stunned by their openness, and they were blessed and touched by our openness about our life experiences and emotions that we shared as part of sharing skills, exercises and concepts that heal, strengthen and protect marriage and other relationships. The countries of Norway, Australia, Japan and India were represented.
An elderly Hindu woman was eloquent in her description about how she and her husband learned to love each other with patience and tolerance. "We didn't know each other before we married, so we didn't fall in love before marriage. That came after as we patiently learned to live together." Fascinating, and something there for us Americans to consider, I think.
Our hosts took us to an Iranian restaurant last night. The setting was dark and misty. Monsoon had its way all afternoon, so the open air restaurant with dim lighting and rustic wooden decor made us feel like we'd stepped into a Harrison Ford 'Indiana Jones' movie. And I forgot the camera! ugh. Sorry. Anyway, some familiar cuisine that included steak, chicken and fish kabobs with mint/chili sauce on the side with some humus and baked pita bread was welcome. "There's some protein for you, Jeff". I haven't been complaining, but have been begging for eggs, chicken, etc. It's amazing how folks here can survive on so many carbs and so little protein. This is supposed to become even more of a challenge in Indore.
This trip is not unlike the camp experiences we had w/ our kids at Butler Springs. It's wet, hot enough to be steamy, mosquito ridden (about 20 found my lower legs and ankles the past few days), and the food is an adjustment. Thankfully, we feel good and we're sleeping reasonably. And, we're mentally sharp, which is our biggest concern. We pray to not be distracted by creature comforts so that we can be encouraging helpers with all of the folks we have an opportunity to meet.
The first three days this week will be filled with opportunities to meet with groups of friends of our friends. The set times for these gatherings are 9am - 1p Monday through Wednesday, but many have requested couple to couple conversations which mean approx 3 hours meals. Pray that we have supercharged social batteries. Both Jill and I naturally require period of alone time to rejuvenate from social times, so we're asking prayer for supernatural capacities.
We're moving to a new host home Monday evening. It's an opportunity to build relationship with yet another couple, and also to give our current family a break as they've hosted a lot recently. Pray for adjustment to a new setting in the midst of our meetings this week. Historically we have trouble sleeping in a new place the first night. I'm not sure we'll have internet there, so if there is interruption in blogging, you'll know why.
Can't think of anything else at the moment!
blessings, Jeff and Jill
The most riveting sight was goats eating fresh garbage. Why? They roam freely, eating the garbage in an area that is filthy already. It was just such a contrast to the goats our kids raised for the Clark County fair that were penned, groomed and vaccinated.
Last night brought two new experiences. Our friends fellowship with a multi-cultural and multi-faith group on a regular basis. Such gatherings are common, and seem to meet a hungry need for opportunity to share life and to discover answers to its most basic problems. We were stunned by their openness, and they were blessed and touched by our openness about our life experiences and emotions that we shared as part of sharing skills, exercises and concepts that heal, strengthen and protect marriage and other relationships. The countries of Norway, Australia, Japan and India were represented.
An elderly Hindu woman was eloquent in her description about how she and her husband learned to love each other with patience and tolerance. "We didn't know each other before we married, so we didn't fall in love before marriage. That came after as we patiently learned to live together." Fascinating, and something there for us Americans to consider, I think.
Our hosts took us to an Iranian restaurant last night. The setting was dark and misty. Monsoon had its way all afternoon, so the open air restaurant with dim lighting and rustic wooden decor made us feel like we'd stepped into a Harrison Ford 'Indiana Jones' movie. And I forgot the camera! ugh. Sorry. Anyway, some familiar cuisine that included steak, chicken and fish kabobs with mint/chili sauce on the side with some humus and baked pita bread was welcome. "There's some protein for you, Jeff". I haven't been complaining, but have been begging for eggs, chicken, etc. It's amazing how folks here can survive on so many carbs and so little protein. This is supposed to become even more of a challenge in Indore.
This trip is not unlike the camp experiences we had w/ our kids at Butler Springs. It's wet, hot enough to be steamy, mosquito ridden (about 20 found my lower legs and ankles the past few days), and the food is an adjustment. Thankfully, we feel good and we're sleeping reasonably. And, we're mentally sharp, which is our biggest concern. We pray to not be distracted by creature comforts so that we can be encouraging helpers with all of the folks we have an opportunity to meet.
The first three days this week will be filled with opportunities to meet with groups of friends of our friends. The set times for these gatherings are 9am - 1p Monday through Wednesday, but many have requested couple to couple conversations which mean approx 3 hours meals. Pray that we have supercharged social batteries. Both Jill and I naturally require period of alone time to rejuvenate from social times, so we're asking prayer for supernatural capacities.
We're moving to a new host home Monday evening. It's an opportunity to build relationship with yet another couple, and also to give our current family a break as they've hosted a lot recently. Pray for adjustment to a new setting in the midst of our meetings this week. Historically we have trouble sleeping in a new place the first night. I'm not sure we'll have internet there, so if there is interruption in blogging, you'll know why.
Can't think of anything else at the moment!
blessings, Jeff and Jill
Saturday, July 16, 2011
More Frogger, an untimely technical difficulty, and fajitas
My laptop decided to die today...but a few phone calls and a resurrection was arranged. Before that was time to get perspective. After praying we heard a reminder in our spirits that who we are is what we have to give, and that what we have been invited to share is in our hearts and minds, and not confined or limited to words on a computer.
Drop off at the computer clinic was noon, and pick-up was 7p. What a blessing to have such a talented friend of a friend willing to serve in a pinch!
Playing in traffic has been a graduated exposure. The first day we were wide-eyed passengers, and rookie road-crossers. The second day was into a busier section of town in search of newborn and her parents at a medical clinic. Really awesome to meet these young, joyful parents and many of their co-workers! Shortly after that, Loren stopped in the median and urged Jill and Pat to get out across from a linen shop. That meant crossing an incredibly road, and back again after they were done. Yesterday I held Jill's hand. Today she went on her own. "Dear God, make her quick and agile". She's back safe and has it down now, "Don't make any sudden moves, move across as openings come. If you're halfway and it isn't clear, trust them to steer around you." Matter of fact, analyzed, and confident about doing it again. It's a good thing her mom has already graduated to heaven. I'm not sure she could handle this one!
Then I got to ride on the back of a motorcycle this evening. It's a lot like being on board with a bike racer, without having to pedal. Have to say I loved it and think I could do it if I had to.
The day ended with fajitas with Mac. He works as a counselor in war-torn nations. Stories of his students transformational work with trauma survivors were inspiring and touching.
The day included more intensive cultural teaching and specific focus of our thoughts on our friends friends and their relationships. We get to meet with many more of them beginning tomorrow.
Have a blessed day!
Jeff and Jill
Drop off at the computer clinic was noon, and pick-up was 7p. What a blessing to have such a talented friend of a friend willing to serve in a pinch!
Playing in traffic has been a graduated exposure. The first day we were wide-eyed passengers, and rookie road-crossers. The second day was into a busier section of town in search of newborn and her parents at a medical clinic. Really awesome to meet these young, joyful parents and many of their co-workers! Shortly after that, Loren stopped in the median and urged Jill and Pat to get out across from a linen shop. That meant crossing an incredibly road, and back again after they were done. Yesterday I held Jill's hand. Today she went on her own. "Dear God, make her quick and agile". She's back safe and has it down now, "Don't make any sudden moves, move across as openings come. If you're halfway and it isn't clear, trust them to steer around you." Matter of fact, analyzed, and confident about doing it again. It's a good thing her mom has already graduated to heaven. I'm not sure she could handle this one!
Then I got to ride on the back of a motorcycle this evening. It's a lot like being on board with a bike racer, without having to pedal. Have to say I loved it and think I could do it if I had to.
The day ended with fajitas with Mac. He works as a counselor in war-torn nations. Stories of his students transformational work with trauma survivors were inspiring and touching.
The day included more intensive cultural teaching and specific focus of our thoughts on our friends friends and their relationships. We get to meet with many more of them beginning tomorrow.
Have a blessed day!
Jeff and Jill
Friday, July 15, 2011
Frogger, shopping, swimming and more friends
check facebook for picture album, India trip, volume I
Did you ever play the video game frogger? The poor amphibian had to leap from one lily pad to another without falling in, or in other versions, the poor little guy got lost in the city and had to cross the street, between moving cares w/out getting squished. Well...
Our afternoon adventure began with Marian, a laughter loving Australian nurse here for the past twenty years, and possibly for life. While her husband Cassius slept through the morning after returning from a month long trip at 6am this morning, she donned her sunglasses and drove like James Bond through the city. No kidding, now! Down the left hand side of the road we sped, dodging pedestrians, motorcycles, three wheeled rickshaws, cows and pigs! If there was one close call there were a hundred. Yes, I raised my eyebrows, time after time! How scary is it? (Remember I have some experience racing bicylces)I wouldn't drive or ride anything, even if you triple dog-dared me!
Jill shopped for a lovely traditional outfit and we had lunch at a South Indian restaurant. Food is eaten w/ the right hand only, and preferably with the hand and not utensils. You break off a piece of flat bread (nan, sp?), and scoop rice, curry, etc. with it, lick your fingers, resist wiping them on the non-existent napkin on your lap (they don't use napkins), and wait for the bowl of hot water to rinse/wash your hand after the meal.
After lunch it was time for another game of frogger and dodge the cows. Jill remarked that I grabbed her hand this time. Although I was a blocker in football, I played the role of a running back following the experienced Marian as she stepped in front of moving motorcycles, buses, and cars across about 4 lanes (there are no lanes and no stoplights). Whew! You really would have to see this to believe it. It's unprecedented in our lives.
The next few hours were spent at Marian and Cassius's, briefing on the model of marriage coaching. They have served many and want to learn to serve more. We will be spending more time w/ them.
This neighborhood (society) has a clubhouse w/ weight room, table tennis and a pool. Some laps really felt good. I needed to breath hard and stretch all my muscles.
I came back to find Jill crashed on the bed, succumbed once again to jet lag, but just briefly. Our hosts say that we are going really well adjusting.
This evening was another surprise. A Norwegian family of 7 came for dinner accompanied by their friend Brian. Years ago our hostess, Pat, Ruard, and Brian served together in Hong Kong. This was a type of reuinion, and it was fun.
At first the gathering was intriguing and a bit somber. Ellen and Ruard's oldest (16)departed by Rickshaw with Brian's youngest (10) for an HIV orphanage, to spend the night, "to love the kids", said Miriam (16 yr. old). She wants to become and M.D. to serve such children, and I hope she does. Wonderful! The children at the orphanage gain admission when their parents die from HIV, or they contract it themselves.
Then the gathering was fun. The reunited trio used to do some theatrics to engage and entertain different groups, so they danced one of their routines for us.
It's hard to believe that we've been here under 48 hours (since 4am Thursday, and now its 10pm Friday). It seems like years. Conversations are fascinating with all due to stories they've accrued and passions developed to help people in a multitude of countries in a multitude of ways. It all makes once want to continually recite John Wesley's words, "Do as much good as you can, for as many as you can, as well as you can, for as long as you can." It's awesome to hang out with folks who've taken that so seriously.
time for nighty-night!
Love, Jeff and Jill
Did you ever play the video game frogger? The poor amphibian had to leap from one lily pad to another without falling in, or in other versions, the poor little guy got lost in the city and had to cross the street, between moving cares w/out getting squished. Well...
Our afternoon adventure began with Marian, a laughter loving Australian nurse here for the past twenty years, and possibly for life. While her husband Cassius slept through the morning after returning from a month long trip at 6am this morning, she donned her sunglasses and drove like James Bond through the city. No kidding, now! Down the left hand side of the road we sped, dodging pedestrians, motorcycles, three wheeled rickshaws, cows and pigs! If there was one close call there were a hundred. Yes, I raised my eyebrows, time after time! How scary is it? (Remember I have some experience racing bicylces)I wouldn't drive or ride anything, even if you triple dog-dared me!
Jill shopped for a lovely traditional outfit and we had lunch at a South Indian restaurant. Food is eaten w/ the right hand only, and preferably with the hand and not utensils. You break off a piece of flat bread (nan, sp?), and scoop rice, curry, etc. with it, lick your fingers, resist wiping them on the non-existent napkin on your lap (they don't use napkins), and wait for the bowl of hot water to rinse/wash your hand after the meal.
After lunch it was time for another game of frogger and dodge the cows. Jill remarked that I grabbed her hand this time. Although I was a blocker in football, I played the role of a running back following the experienced Marian as she stepped in front of moving motorcycles, buses, and cars across about 4 lanes (there are no lanes and no stoplights). Whew! You really would have to see this to believe it. It's unprecedented in our lives.
The next few hours were spent at Marian and Cassius's, briefing on the model of marriage coaching. They have served many and want to learn to serve more. We will be spending more time w/ them.
This neighborhood (society) has a clubhouse w/ weight room, table tennis and a pool. Some laps really felt good. I needed to breath hard and stretch all my muscles.
I came back to find Jill crashed on the bed, succumbed once again to jet lag, but just briefly. Our hosts say that we are going really well adjusting.
This evening was another surprise. A Norwegian family of 7 came for dinner accompanied by their friend Brian. Years ago our hostess, Pat, Ruard, and Brian served together in Hong Kong. This was a type of reuinion, and it was fun.
At first the gathering was intriguing and a bit somber. Ellen and Ruard's oldest (16)departed by Rickshaw with Brian's youngest (10) for an HIV orphanage, to spend the night, "to love the kids", said Miriam (16 yr. old). She wants to become and M.D. to serve such children, and I hope she does. Wonderful! The children at the orphanage gain admission when their parents die from HIV, or they contract it themselves.
Then the gathering was fun. The reunited trio used to do some theatrics to engage and entertain different groups, so they danced one of their routines for us.
It's hard to believe that we've been here under 48 hours (since 4am Thursday, and now its 10pm Friday). It seems like years. Conversations are fascinating with all due to stories they've accrued and passions developed to help people in a multitude of countries in a multitude of ways. It all makes once want to continually recite John Wesley's words, "Do as much good as you can, for as many as you can, as well as you can, for as long as you can." It's awesome to hang out with folks who've taken that so seriously.
time for nighty-night!
Love, Jeff and Jill
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Jet Lag and Cultural Complexities
It's not been that bad, really. Last night we went to bed at midnight, and I was up before 6am; 6 hours feels like a pretty good accomplishment, considering the fact that my body was probably thinking it was mid-afternoon to mid-evening your time.
We're fascinated to learn about the role of cultural expectations and practices on relationships. It's essential information for anyone hoping to impart helpful information about how to heal, strengthen and protect relationships. For instance, the power of the opinions of one's family on decisions about marriage, and even after marriage. It's not that this is absent in the West, but the extent of an extended families rights to their children's homes and right to interrupt and affect their lives is stunning.
For instance, if a member of a family dies, its not uncommon for twenty relative families to descend on the city of the deceased to stay in the homes of relatives living there for extended periods of time. Extended family shows up on the doorstep, and it would be unthinkable to make mention of the fact that there isn't enough room in the house. Perhaps that's not that shocking, but imagine the next one.
In-laws commonly show up at children's homes to stay for weeks and weeks. While they are there it is the duty of the wife to graciously host. That's a challenging proposition in itself, but it is even more challenging if the guests are not tidy and polite because not a word can be said to them. Now, the wife might complain to her husband and ask him to ask his family to change some of there behaviors, but there is little chance that he will do so. Even if he is an assertive executive in the work world, it would be taboo for him to "correct" his parents.
We certainly hear of isolated cases of family dynamics like this in our work as relationship coaches in the states, but when we do, we're quick to cite the leave and cleave passage from the bible, and to urge a husband to protect his wife by leaving his family and cleaving to his wife by establishing boundaries for the behavior of his family in his home, including when and how long they are welcome in his (and his wife's) home. Such advice is not so easy to give in Indian culture, I'm told.
So, what would you do in a relationship skills seminar if asked by a husband what to do in this position between a rock and a hard place; pressure to NOT say anything to family and an unhappy wife? Test yourself by coming up w/ your answer before reading further.
One response we would consider would go like this, "It's not our place to advise you what to do, but we could help you, and you and your wife to evaluate your options. Would that be helpful?" If he says yes, then we would ask permission to ask some questions about his thoughts, feelings and desires. "How does it feel to be asked by your wife to do something that would offend your family? What have been your thoughts about possible options to solve this?" We might also share what we have seen other couples do in similar situations, but we would NEVER tell them what they should do! Why? Because it is their right to decide how to handle their relationship. They are the ones that have to live with the consequences of their choices, and they, better than us, understand the nuanced complexities of their circumstances.
As relationship coaches and educators we are at our best when we provide information about skills and attitudes that have worked well for other couples to prevent misunderstandings, to build closeness, to resolve conflict in a way that builds the relationship, etc, NOT when we opine as experts about WHAT a couple should do in their challenging circumstances. Does this make sense?
If anything, Day #1 of our cultural awareness and understanding seminar from our friends reinforced the importance of humility for people helpers. We know what we know, but we don't know everything. Others are expert about their life circumstances. Thus, fidelity to a coach approach in which we ask and listen to help others to process their thoughts, feelings, desires, goals and potential action-steps to accomplish those goals is essential.
Well, you're off to bed, and we're off to breakfast. Out for some sightseeing today. Check f book for some pics later.
blessings, Jeff
We're fascinated to learn about the role of cultural expectations and practices on relationships. It's essential information for anyone hoping to impart helpful information about how to heal, strengthen and protect relationships. For instance, the power of the opinions of one's family on decisions about marriage, and even after marriage. It's not that this is absent in the West, but the extent of an extended families rights to their children's homes and right to interrupt and affect their lives is stunning.
For instance, if a member of a family dies, its not uncommon for twenty relative families to descend on the city of the deceased to stay in the homes of relatives living there for extended periods of time. Extended family shows up on the doorstep, and it would be unthinkable to make mention of the fact that there isn't enough room in the house. Perhaps that's not that shocking, but imagine the next one.
In-laws commonly show up at children's homes to stay for weeks and weeks. While they are there it is the duty of the wife to graciously host. That's a challenging proposition in itself, but it is even more challenging if the guests are not tidy and polite because not a word can be said to them. Now, the wife might complain to her husband and ask him to ask his family to change some of there behaviors, but there is little chance that he will do so. Even if he is an assertive executive in the work world, it would be taboo for him to "correct" his parents.
We certainly hear of isolated cases of family dynamics like this in our work as relationship coaches in the states, but when we do, we're quick to cite the leave and cleave passage from the bible, and to urge a husband to protect his wife by leaving his family and cleaving to his wife by establishing boundaries for the behavior of his family in his home, including when and how long they are welcome in his (and his wife's) home. Such advice is not so easy to give in Indian culture, I'm told.
So, what would you do in a relationship skills seminar if asked by a husband what to do in this position between a rock and a hard place; pressure to NOT say anything to family and an unhappy wife? Test yourself by coming up w/ your answer before reading further.
One response we would consider would go like this, "It's not our place to advise you what to do, but we could help you, and you and your wife to evaluate your options. Would that be helpful?" If he says yes, then we would ask permission to ask some questions about his thoughts, feelings and desires. "How does it feel to be asked by your wife to do something that would offend your family? What have been your thoughts about possible options to solve this?" We might also share what we have seen other couples do in similar situations, but we would NEVER tell them what they should do! Why? Because it is their right to decide how to handle their relationship. They are the ones that have to live with the consequences of their choices, and they, better than us, understand the nuanced complexities of their circumstances.
As relationship coaches and educators we are at our best when we provide information about skills and attitudes that have worked well for other couples to prevent misunderstandings, to build closeness, to resolve conflict in a way that builds the relationship, etc, NOT when we opine as experts about WHAT a couple should do in their challenging circumstances. Does this make sense?
If anything, Day #1 of our cultural awareness and understanding seminar from our friends reinforced the importance of humility for people helpers. We know what we know, but we don't know everything. Others are expert about their life circumstances. Thus, fidelity to a coach approach in which we ask and listen to help others to process their thoughts, feelings, desires, goals and potential action-steps to accomplish those goals is essential.
Well, you're off to bed, and we're off to breakfast. Out for some sightseeing today. Check f book for some pics later.
blessings, Jeff
Friends abound
It's 645am your time Thursday morning as I write.
We arose 11am after 6 hours of sleep. I'm feeling the urge for a nap, and Jill may have succumbed, but we're trying to not mess up the jet lag recovery by sleeping too much during the day. It's 4:15pm, and we've enjoyed coffee, mango, pomengrate, eggs and a special macaroni dish w/ meat and spices as our hosts way to "break us in". tonight appears to be chicken something...it's all very good.
Loren and Pat are amazing people, helpful to many in many places, they specialize in leadership training to teach others to help others as they have. The breadth and depth of their experience lends to hours of conversation. They've arranged an opportunity for us to meet a large group of their friends Sunday evening who are interested in the work we do with relationships, particularly marriages. Thankfully, the thoughts we've had about what to share and how to share it pass Loren and Pat's discernment. They say that relationship education was unheard of in India until about 10 years ago. Now there is a bit of counseling, but much more and more approaches needed.
John and Hazel are sharing the hosting responsibilities. We will be moving to them on Sat or Sun. in the meantime they are moving to a new flat. We offered to help them tomorrow.
Saturday evening is dinner w/ Mac, a Texan experienced in community development and a counselor trainer. Stories of how his unique approach to counseling has been used by numbers of students are "fascinating" according to Loren. Fajitas are on the menu, made from scratch, so don't feel sorry for us. It doesn't appear that we're at risk of starvation.
The singular thing that makes this so enjoyable is that everyone we are meeting shares a passion to help others. It is what their lives are all about. Everything else is a means to that end, instead of an end in itself, if that makes sense.
perhaps a bit more later tonight.
We have good internet connection for the next few days, so don't hesitate to write email if you are inclined.
Jeff
We arose 11am after 6 hours of sleep. I'm feeling the urge for a nap, and Jill may have succumbed, but we're trying to not mess up the jet lag recovery by sleeping too much during the day. It's 4:15pm, and we've enjoyed coffee, mango, pomengrate, eggs and a special macaroni dish w/ meat and spices as our hosts way to "break us in". tonight appears to be chicken something...it's all very good.
Loren and Pat are amazing people, helpful to many in many places, they specialize in leadership training to teach others to help others as they have. The breadth and depth of their experience lends to hours of conversation. They've arranged an opportunity for us to meet a large group of their friends Sunday evening who are interested in the work we do with relationships, particularly marriages. Thankfully, the thoughts we've had about what to share and how to share it pass Loren and Pat's discernment. They say that relationship education was unheard of in India until about 10 years ago. Now there is a bit of counseling, but much more and more approaches needed.
John and Hazel are sharing the hosting responsibilities. We will be moving to them on Sat or Sun. in the meantime they are moving to a new flat. We offered to help them tomorrow.
Saturday evening is dinner w/ Mac, a Texan experienced in community development and a counselor trainer. Stories of how his unique approach to counseling has been used by numbers of students are "fascinating" according to Loren. Fajitas are on the menu, made from scratch, so don't feel sorry for us. It doesn't appear that we're at risk of starvation.
The singular thing that makes this so enjoyable is that everyone we are meeting shares a passion to help others. It is what their lives are all about. Everything else is a means to that end, instead of an end in itself, if that makes sense.
perhaps a bit more later tonight.
We have good internet connection for the next few days, so don't hesitate to write email if you are inclined.
Jeff
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
We're Here! (and sleeping while sitting upright)
It's 6:05 pm Wednesday evening your time, 330am on Thursday in India, and we're connected to the internet!
I thought I'd use a few last molecules of adrenaline from our "taxi" ride from Bombay to Pune (maybe the bumpiest d adventuresome 300km we've ever traveled). We still don't know the drivers name (no English). Thank goodness for cell phones and a host who is a light sleeper until his guests arrived. He talked the driver in after a universally understood grunt, "Uh oh", followed by pulling to the side of the road to ponder where we'd gotten lost.
But it was at baggage in Mumbai that we learned of the three explosions in this city today. A lady we'd befriended in Newark, came to warn us. "I don't know if you've heard...but be careful." It really didn't panic us, especially since we were departing right away for another city, but we did ensure that both of us had cell phones and numbers of friends in India to call if we became separated through an incident. Overall, I'm proud of us for relaxing in trust that we are where we are supposed to be, and that Providence is watching over us.
I'd better head to bed before I begin sleeping while sitting upright...again. Yep, the final twelve hours of this 36 hour awake period, both Jill and I began to perfect the ability to sleep while sitting straight up (no where and no way to lay down). If we were cows you could tip us over pretty easily!!
Goodnight and thanks for your support and kind thoughts,
Jeff and Jill
I thought I'd use a few last molecules of adrenaline from our "taxi" ride from Bombay to Pune (maybe the bumpiest d adventuresome 300km we've ever traveled). We still don't know the drivers name (no English). Thank goodness for cell phones and a host who is a light sleeper until his guests arrived. He talked the driver in after a universally understood grunt, "Uh oh", followed by pulling to the side of the road to ponder where we'd gotten lost.
But it was at baggage in Mumbai that we learned of the three explosions in this city today. A lady we'd befriended in Newark, came to warn us. "I don't know if you've heard...but be careful." It really didn't panic us, especially since we were departing right away for another city, but we did ensure that both of us had cell phones and numbers of friends in India to call if we became separated through an incident. Overall, I'm proud of us for relaxing in trust that we are where we are supposed to be, and that Providence is watching over us.
I'd better head to bed before I begin sleeping while sitting upright...again. Yep, the final twelve hours of this 36 hour awake period, both Jill and I began to perfect the ability to sleep while sitting straight up (no where and no way to lay down). If we were cows you could tip us over pretty easily!!
Goodnight and thanks for your support and kind thoughts,
Jeff and Jill
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
On the way
A quick post just before we go out the door. If all goes as planned, we'll post again Weds, 6pm your time, just before we go to bed again. We are hoping for restful and productive travel. The Rue's gave us some audio books and an ipod full of inspirational music, and we always have writing to do!
Jill's dad is here getting instructions in watering the flowers and garden.
We slept pretty well, and this morning has been relaxed. Jill has checked EVERYTHING off the list. It's great to get to do this together.
Have a blessed day!
Jeff and Jill
Jill's dad is here getting instructions in watering the flowers and garden.
We slept pretty well, and this morning has been relaxed. Jill has checked EVERYTHING off the list. It's great to get to do this together.
Have a blessed day!
Jeff and Jill
Monday, July 11, 2011
Doggone!
Parody is the highest form of admiration, right?
Well, you've gotta check out our dog-sitters new blog, Harley Dog on the move. I guess this trip has inspired the little white fluff ball who animates our home, and now hers...
The content is below in case you didn't click on the hypertext above. Enjoy! It certainly has given us comic relief in the midst of too much to do with too little time!!!
One more sleep...
Jeff and Jill
Want Snuggle-Therapy? I'll Travel
Three more sleeps and I'll board a car to visit friends. While there, I'll certainly share my passion...me. Why? I can't help it. Sit with me for more than a few minutes and I'll turn the conversation to this life-giving way of petting, snuggling, and setting shared goals for my convenience.
I'm excited about myself because of my effectiveness. I've used my snuggles to heal and save others' emotional well-being, and I've been told by numerous other people that its helped them in the same way. Not only that, but once a person learns snuggle-therapy for themselves they inevitably share it with others!
I didn't choose to go to Western Springfield...first it came to us. In the fall of 2010 a couple who lives there came to visit my masters. There was values resonance between them, so they decided to consider building a friendship. This couple came to our home for meals and fellowship. While with us they offered to keep me while my masters visited India. I stayed for a trial visit a few weeks ago, and this evening at about 8 pm, I expect to be bedded down in their home in Western Springfield.
You might be curious about the route to get there. July 11, 730 pm depart Home for Western Springfield. Later that night (8pm) arrive there (a direct drive). What will I do in the car? The Dog Whisperer's advice is to enjoy the ride, watch the scenery, and look generally excited and happy to go for a ride.
It's humbling and exciting to be invited by these friends to visit, and just as humbling that they have wanted this to happen badly enough that they've supported this trip. That by itself has created a very serious sense of responsibility to do well with the opportunity to make an exponential number of friends, and to share freely with them what has been given to me.
What am I doing today (with 8 hours to go)?
The usual whining for food, looking cute, and begging for attention should suffice.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for the encouraging thoughts and messages you've been sending my way!
Love, Harley
Well, you've gotta check out our dog-sitters new blog, Harley Dog on the move. I guess this trip has inspired the little white fluff ball who animates our home, and now hers...
The content is below in case you didn't click on the hypertext above. Enjoy! It certainly has given us comic relief in the midst of too much to do with too little time!!!
One more sleep...
Jeff and Jill
Want Snuggle-Therapy? I'll Travel
Three more sleeps and I'll board a car to visit friends. While there, I'll certainly share my passion...me. Why? I can't help it. Sit with me for more than a few minutes and I'll turn the conversation to this life-giving way of petting, snuggling, and setting shared goals for my convenience.
I'm excited about myself because of my effectiveness. I've used my snuggles to heal and save others' emotional well-being, and I've been told by numerous other people that its helped them in the same way. Not only that, but once a person learns snuggle-therapy for themselves they inevitably share it with others!
I didn't choose to go to Western Springfield...first it came to us. In the fall of 2010 a couple who lives there came to visit my masters. There was values resonance between them, so they decided to consider building a friendship. This couple came to our home for meals and fellowship. While with us they offered to keep me while my masters visited India. I stayed for a trial visit a few weeks ago, and this evening at about 8 pm, I expect to be bedded down in their home in Western Springfield.
You might be curious about the route to get there. July 11, 730 pm depart Home for Western Springfield. Later that night (8pm) arrive there (a direct drive). What will I do in the car? The Dog Whisperer's advice is to enjoy the ride, watch the scenery, and look generally excited and happy to go for a ride.
It's humbling and exciting to be invited by these friends to visit, and just as humbling that they have wanted this to happen badly enough that they've supported this trip. That by itself has created a very serious sense of responsibility to do well with the opportunity to make an exponential number of friends, and to share freely with them what has been given to me.
What am I doing today (with 8 hours to go)?
The usual whining for food, looking cute, and begging for attention should suffice.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for the encouraging thoughts and messages you've been sending my way!
Love, Harley
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Peru Prepared Us (maybe)
In May of 2007 I (Jeff) traveled in Peru for two weeks. Natives we'd met in Washington (DC) were my hosts and travel companions. The trip was their gift of appreciation for coaching their marriage. While Jill didn't go in person, she experienced third-world travel through my eyes; beggars (children) on the streets and in government shelters from terrorists, midnight travel over dirt roads at 80mph (until the cow appeared in our path), a church in the jungle, etc.
But, experienced travelers to S. Asia (India in particular) say that the experience is singular. From the sea of people to the stench, they say that nothing you've experienced prepares you for what you'll see.
Still, we've been doing our due diligence to try to prepare by reading and even watching movies. "City of Joy" was last night, and before that was "Gandhi" and "Slum Dog Millionaire". Experienced travelers to India have told us that these are realistic depictions.
It seems that traveling for 24+ hours to Mumbai (Bombay) is the just the beginning challenge. Then its a 4+ hour "taxi" ride to Pune. The following instructions have been provided:
"We have booked a taxi for you from the international airport in Mumbai, which will take you directly to __________ and _______'s home. The name of the travel agency is _______'s Travels. They have your arrival details and their attendant will stand outside the exit leading out of the terminal, with a sign displaying your name. Visitors are not allowed into the airport terminal, only passengers, so there will be a mob outside the exit gate. If for some reason, you don't see him, you can call the attendant from a local phone (located on outside wall of the airport, or just inside the airport) or your mobile if you have one. You will need a couple of 1 Rupee coins to do this. The attendant will take you to the car in the parking area.
It will take approximately 4 hours to get to Pune, the traffic in Mumbai can be horrific. The driver may stop for a chai (tea) break along the way.
The taxi driver will have the address where you will be dropped off and my contact number. It would be good for you to keep them handy as well.
Don't panic if you don't see the guy straight away. Wait a few minutes just by the door. You will be likely to get other offers of transport if you do have to wait around – be firm and refuse them!"
And that sounds like just the beginning. Horrific traffic? A driver we don't know? A chai break? But we want to go to bed!
Just 48 hours now. The list has been made and we've checked it twice (well, maybe a few more times...), and we think we're good to go; essentials packed, papers in order, and arrangements for our home to be cared for.
Today begins with hope for relaxation. A walk and talk, possible lunch with friends (The Rue's), and dinner with more friends (the Wildman's).
Thanks for enjoying the journey with us!
Jeff and Jill
But, experienced travelers to S. Asia (India in particular) say that the experience is singular. From the sea of people to the stench, they say that nothing you've experienced prepares you for what you'll see.
Still, we've been doing our due diligence to try to prepare by reading and even watching movies. "City of Joy" was last night, and before that was "Gandhi" and "Slum Dog Millionaire". Experienced travelers to India have told us that these are realistic depictions.
It seems that traveling for 24+ hours to Mumbai (Bombay) is the just the beginning challenge. Then its a 4+ hour "taxi" ride to Pune. The following instructions have been provided:
"We have booked a taxi for you from the international airport in Mumbai, which will take you directly to __________ and _______'s home. The name of the travel agency is _______'s Travels. They have your arrival details and their attendant will stand outside the exit leading out of the terminal, with a sign displaying your name. Visitors are not allowed into the airport terminal, only passengers, so there will be a mob outside the exit gate. If for some reason, you don't see him, you can call the attendant from a local phone (located on outside wall of the airport, or just inside the airport) or your mobile if you have one. You will need a couple of 1 Rupee coins to do this. The attendant will take you to the car in the parking area.
It will take approximately 4 hours to get to Pune, the traffic in Mumbai can be horrific. The driver may stop for a chai (tea) break along the way.
The taxi driver will have the address where you will be dropped off and my contact number. It would be good for you to keep them handy as well.
Don't panic if you don't see the guy straight away. Wait a few minutes just by the door. You will be likely to get other offers of transport if you do have to wait around – be firm and refuse them!"
And that sounds like just the beginning. Horrific traffic? A driver we don't know? A chai break? But we want to go to bed!
Just 48 hours now. The list has been made and we've checked it twice (well, maybe a few more times...), and we think we're good to go; essentials packed, papers in order, and arrangements for our home to be cared for.
Today begins with hope for relaxation. A walk and talk, possible lunch with friends (The Rue's), and dinner with more friends (the Wildman's).
Thanks for enjoying the journey with us!
Jeff and Jill
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Want Marriage Coaching? We'll Travel
Three more sleeps and we'll board a plane for India to visit friends. While there, we'll certainly share our passion...marriage coaching. Why? We can't help it. Talk with either Jill or I for more than a few minutes and we'll turn the conversation to this life-giving way of asking, listening, and setting shared goals for our marriage.
We're excited about marriage coaching because of its effectiveness. It's a process we've used to heal and save our marriage, and we've been told by numerous other couples that its helped them in the same way. Not only that, but once a couple learns it for themselves they inevitably share it with others!
We didn't choose to go to India...first it came to us. In the spring of 2007 a couple who works there came to visit family friends in the US. Some of their friends were our friends who introduced us. There was values resonance between us, so we decided to consider building a friendship. This couple came to Washington DC to visit for a few days. While with us they offered to cook a traditional Indian meal for our family. As we enjoyed it (even the spiciness) they predicted that we would visit them someday. Next Thursday at about 3am their time, we expect to be bedded down in their home in Pune.
You might be curious about the route to get there. July 12, 1030am depart Dayton, Ohio for Newark, New Jersey. Later that night (830pm) board a plan for Mumbai (Bombay). Arrive there 15 hours later (a direct flight). What will we do on the plane? Beth Leasure's advice is to begin living on their time zone once on board the plan in Newark. That mean's adding 9.5 hours to our watches. That's 6am their time the next day. So, maybe a couple hours of sleep as we depart, and then get up! Fifteen hours makes it 9pm that night that we're due to arrive (630am your time, EDT in the U.S.). Then it's a 4 hour taxi ride to Pune (check out www.maps.google.com and type in Mumbai and Pune if you would like to see the route).
It's humbling and exciting to be invited by these friends, and many of their friends to visit, and just as humbling that they and many of our friends in the US have wanted this to happen badly enough that they've financially supported this trip. That by itself has created a very serious sense of responsibility to do well with the opportunity to make an exponential number of friends, and to share freely with them what has been given to us.
What are we doing today (with 72 hours to go)?
Jeff out for a bike ride in a few minutes, then both of us to the office for a marriage coaching appt. and then two counseling appointments for Jeff. After that, it's the honey-do list. Review the packing checklist with Jill, maybe mow the grass, let Laura drive (she got her license yesterday), and finish some handouts for an upcoming marriage coaching seminar. Oh, and put final touches on chapters 9-12 in our book, How to Coach Your Marriage before sending to the editor (it's kind of like taking a bath before going to the Dr.)
Thanks for reading, and thanks for the encouraging thoughts and messages you've been sending our way!
Love, Jeff and Jill
We're excited about marriage coaching because of its effectiveness. It's a process we've used to heal and save our marriage, and we've been told by numerous other couples that its helped them in the same way. Not only that, but once a couple learns it for themselves they inevitably share it with others!
We didn't choose to go to India...first it came to us. In the spring of 2007 a couple who works there came to visit family friends in the US. Some of their friends were our friends who introduced us. There was values resonance between us, so we decided to consider building a friendship. This couple came to Washington DC to visit for a few days. While with us they offered to cook a traditional Indian meal for our family. As we enjoyed it (even the spiciness) they predicted that we would visit them someday. Next Thursday at about 3am their time, we expect to be bedded down in their home in Pune.
You might be curious about the route to get there. July 12, 1030am depart Dayton, Ohio for Newark, New Jersey. Later that night (830pm) board a plan for Mumbai (Bombay). Arrive there 15 hours later (a direct flight). What will we do on the plane? Beth Leasure's advice is to begin living on their time zone once on board the plan in Newark. That mean's adding 9.5 hours to our watches. That's 6am their time the next day. So, maybe a couple hours of sleep as we depart, and then get up! Fifteen hours makes it 9pm that night that we're due to arrive (630am your time, EDT in the U.S.). Then it's a 4 hour taxi ride to Pune (check out www.maps.google.com and type in Mumbai and Pune if you would like to see the route).
It's humbling and exciting to be invited by these friends, and many of their friends to visit, and just as humbling that they and many of our friends in the US have wanted this to happen badly enough that they've financially supported this trip. That by itself has created a very serious sense of responsibility to do well with the opportunity to make an exponential number of friends, and to share freely with them what has been given to us.
What are we doing today (with 72 hours to go)?
Jeff out for a bike ride in a few minutes, then both of us to the office for a marriage coaching appt. and then two counseling appointments for Jeff. After that, it's the honey-do list. Review the packing checklist with Jill, maybe mow the grass, let Laura drive (she got her license yesterday), and finish some handouts for an upcoming marriage coaching seminar. Oh, and put final touches on chapters 9-12 in our book, How to Coach Your Marriage before sending to the editor (it's kind of like taking a bath before going to the Dr.)
Thanks for reading, and thanks for the encouraging thoughts and messages you've been sending our way!
Love, Jeff and Jill
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